Saturday, December 31, 2011

Tiffany so qt.

I mean that Jessica is just so ugly, it makes Tiffany look even better!

2PM redeems with an awesome performance (KBS)

I know nobody here gives half a shit about boybands; you horny bastards just want hot chicks. I feel the same way too! However, the reason I keep watching 2PM performances is because.... well Hands Up was the ultimate guilty pleasure of 2011, for me anyways. JYP hit the jackpot with it. And after the trainwreck @ SBS, this happened, proving that the boys still had some life in them.

Supposedly the concept for this stage was 'hip-hop', clearly with all the preconceived notion that hip-hop is all about being ghetto and from the hood, but this is neither the place nor time for me to rant about that. In all honesty, something about the stage and music made me think of the boys as OFWGKTA for toddlers (if you don't know what I'm talking about, watch this). Anyways, I enjoyed it.

And while we're on the topic of 2PM, I'm going to rant a bit about Taecyeon. He's overhated. No I didn't misspell 'overrated', he is overhated, for the same reason that Yoona and Justin Bieber are hated: They are just too popular. That fact, coupled with their general lack of talent (although I could easily argue that JB has more talent than 90% of your favorite oppars) make them the victims of great scrutiny. They don't deserve it. Truly bad music sounds like this.

Now aren't you glad Yoona and Taec are the worst you get in Kpop? Right?
...What do you mean "you forgot about hara"?

What the fuck is a SJ Funky?

By listening to parts and bits of SJ songs (I don't think I could stand listening to one in its entirety), I was able to come up with a general idea. Bland synth loops, lots of autotune, and lots of repetition: I believe this is what they call SJ Funky. Almost sounds like Korean crunk (mad respect to my homedog Lil Jon though, well alright!) But anyways, inventing a non-existent genre to protect Super Junior's reputation (what's left of it anyways) from their shitty music is actually pretty fucking brilliant. SME strikes again.

P.S. I read the term for the first time today, so don't blame me if I'm a year late.

And in other news:

Friday, December 30, 2011

A recap of SBS's Gayo Daejun.

Just my thoughts on one of the end-of-the-year shows.

SBS/KBS/MBC whatever the fuck no1curr, look it's Hyorin's panties.

Question of the Week 24

Alright guys. This is the last Question of the Week for this 2011 year. I am so sad. I might Cry Cry ;___;

What is the worst song of 2011?

Thanks, everyone, for a great year!

See all of you in 2012 with new articles, new hordes of horrible fangirls, and maybe more weekly features!! (all of you readers BETTER come back. I expect you to bring all your friends and family here, too!!)

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to, or leave them in the comment section. Thanks!

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Shisus takes the wheel and drives over them fuckers.






It's okay ELFs, we know.

The million boxes of Kleenex are on us.

i hate iu~

how u think wooyoung and taeyung fil??she always flirt and change man who ideal walao she is whore  lik suzy

Cr : Bawb

Yew might nawt kno dis but I fap to Hyewon, she is no whore lik Suzy and IU, she is cute meerkat unlike her twiin Hara.

This is probably how I would look standing next to Jesus.

I mean, come on <read to self in Will Arnett's voice for maximum effect>, Hyoyeon is already the ugliest member by far (i bare no ill will, insidewat counts lar = =). Why dress her up in a tacky jumpsuit and place her next to Sica while she's looking classy as fuck? (As my fellow Jessica fans may have noticed, her physical appearance tends to greatly fluctuate {one day she'll look as regal as a queen, the next, she'll look like a horse that needs braces}. Through great research, I was able to formulate an algorithm, loosely based on the lunar calender, that explained the supernatural phenomenon and its pattern. And before you ask, no it is not related to her menstrual cycle. But I digress (and yes, I realize that the word digress is a fucking pretentious word to use, so is 'pretentious'. Shut the fuck up and stop digressing me).

s!b: Hyoyeon is my favorite SNSD member.

However, as one reader nicely put it: "here is not kpop secrets ok?" I do not wish to spark comparisons and have cumloads of Kpopsecret readers visiting our site again.
An official 'cumload'.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Se7en's Somebody Else

What the fuck is this? Se7en is from YG but he can actually sing in Japanese. What the fuck is going on here?

Singapore trolls on the queenz of K-pop

Coming from Singapore, I sort of know how much my countrymen adore K-pop and Korean culture. But I didn't know it would go to this extent, and I can say that I feel rather ashamed.

In the midst of the MAMA fever, this happened.

Warning: not suitable for pregnant women, the elderly, or those with heart problems.

So yeah. The girl is a rookie teen actress on the local Singapore Chinese television network. Just a word on the Singapore local entertainment industry, no matter how "famous" you seem to be around here, regardless of whether you have your own fan club or not, you're pretty much a nobody, unless you're one of the lucky few who managed to bag an award overseas (that's if you had the chance to work with a foreign director), or break an award for the longest rice roll or something.

In truth, the only reason why she appears to have so many fans is because she starred in a highly overrated drama serial with allegedly "hunky" male co-stars who all compare their over-hyped popularity to that of K-pop stars. Seriously.

And so, equally disillusioned by their belief that "we can be liek them kpop starz liek super junior and gg!!111one!one" they decide to cover K-pop songs as part of their grand scheme of world domination (and failing terribly at it).

Back to the poor girl. Her outfit looks like a bad knockoff of SNSD's winter outfit which they've worn in several performances, and the jacket does no justice whatsoever to her underdeveloped bosom. Heck, the show looks like a cheap knockoff itself, copying them music shows, when in fact, it's a charity show with elderly people making up a significant portion of the audience.

The Singapore SONES' reactions were hilarious.
A surprisingly large number said: "don't mean offence but i can sing better than you. true facts"
"please stick to acting. this is an insult to k-pop and snsd."
"she said on her blog that she's professionally vocal and dance trained. obviously it's clear she wasn't."


My fellow citizens, I know how much you adore and love K-pop but a bit too much.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Oh Korea.

Cutest trolling, ever.

Stupid Things Fangirls Utter

I understand we have articles showcasing choice comments fangirls say regarding their ability to speak Korean due to their dedication towards learning the language. This involves attempting to read Hangul and writing "사랑해" on everything while thinking "keke~ I am so smart".

Just another pet peeve of mine is hearing fangirls say:
"I KNOW how to speak Korean" 
"Oh really? How did you learn?"
"I listen to and memorize ALL the song lyrics. I am practically fluent."
"What...? How does that constitute-"
*Note: These are all real song titles*
"Yeah! I can say '너 때문에', '기다리다 지친다', '이곳에 서서'-"
"Well I mean, yeah, that makes sense, but they aren't exactly sentences you would use all the time-"
" '친구여자친구' "
"Well that's awkward-"
" '미친 듯이', '유효기간', '맛좋은산', '대쉬', '박수', '밤 하늘에' -"
"That barely works in real life application-"
" '뱅', '지' -"


Now, obviously, there are some legitimate fans who truly respect the culture and really do learn Korean, so I am not hating on them.

But to all of you who think saying '내가 제일 잘 나가' means you speak Korean, just STFU, or you might be highlighted here on 'Stupid Things Fangirls Utter'.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas

Have a Merry Christmas everyone and if you want to, you can post what you got for Christmas (or any other holiday) in the comments below. I got some money last week and spent some of it on some games and saved the rest.

Friday, December 23, 2011

T-ara and Davichi We Were In Love

Oh, we were in love before Hwayoung showed up at the end.


There's a reason why it took me so long to review this. I was avoiding this shit like the plague. Then three weeks later (the other day) I watched the MV and wished I could go back in time and kick my own ass for watching this MV. You know what the best part about the MV is besides 4:20? The first ten seconds when there's no music.

Question of the Week 23

Being that Christmas is in 2 days, I thought I would think of a more festive question:

Which idol do you fanboys want to stick your North Pole in?

No, not actually. Seriously, do not answer that. Please. For my sake.

Which idol do you fans want to see in sexy, Christmas themed lingerie? (I suppose that also applies to male idols)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

D'awwww SM stans are threatened already.

It was a while back when one of our authors shitted on SM stans in this entry :

Fast forward, SM drops their 1st teaser of a EXO member called Kai.

Here's some info regarding EXO K & EXO M.

''On Dec. 23rd, the world of new boy band EXO-K and EXO-M presented by S.M.Entertainement will be opened! The entire world is watching them! Stay tuned! 
EXO-K and EXO-M are new boy groups who will lead the world music industry from now on! They are making their debut on the same day and time with the same song in Korea and China. Since it's something that has never been tried before, it will be good enough to capture the attention of fans not only in Korea and China but all over the world.''
lol @ highlighted bit.

Instead of the the response that was expected from fangirls, something along the lines of :


However, this is what seems to be happening.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

SNSD's Japanese is ass

“I couldn’t even understand a word you were saying.”

Neither could SNSD. They still have a fucking Korean-Japanese translator after promoting in Japan for 15 months.

"Some Japanese netizens have offered their advice to SNSD saying, “You guys should study up on Japanese more.”"

This pains me to say it, but I actually agree with the Japanese. If a group is to go to Japan and promote, learn the fucking language. The Japanese want artists/groups to sing songs in Japanese. They don't want Korean idol groups who don't bother learning Japanese half-assing shit and singing unintelligible songs. There is a reason why Kara is on a lot of Japanese variety shows and why SNSD is hardly on any: Kara actually learned Japanese and can speak it. Just because SNSD is top shit in Korea doesn't mean that they don't have to learn Japanese.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Really ?!?!

You have got to be kidding me. Whoever is in charge of making up band names in the kpop industry needs to be fired or shot (whichever). TS entertainment recently revealed their new groups (you know the one with the other guy that sounds like TOP) name to be . . . B.A.P.

My god man could you have not come up with something better than food and the acronym for the Biodiversity Action Plan! A "representative" from TS did say that they had more in the works and to expect more from their label. Well for one I expect them to have a better name in the works.

But of the huge amount of groups that have debuted in 2011, the crappiest name has to come from TGN entertainment with Twi-Light.

Someone forgot to tell TGN that if they wanted their boys to look like vampires they'd need to sparkle and not look like they want to eat babies or rape women. (I'm also pretty sure this group debuted at least 3 times this year under 3 different name)

[AKF Comic] Kpop Fangirls Learning Korean

Time for another chapter everyone. The pics are after the jump. The translation will be posted under each picture.

SMENT gives us 2nd hand embarrasSMENT.

By releasing 7 versions of The Boys for SNSD's US maxi single.

Out of ALL the choices they could have possibly had for a maxi single, they just had to choose the shittiest one possible.

If releasing 7 fucking versions of a shitty song isn't trolling, I have no idea as to what trolling is.

Then again, knowing their target audience which is made up of dumb Sones, they'll buy the shit up anyway.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

After School - Rambling Girls

Just when I had given up on being a PlayGirl due to losing Bekah and PLEDIS spending too much time on Orange Caramel, After School came out with their OWN NEW SONG for their Japanese promotions.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Verbal Jint, you fucking suck

If anyone ever tells you to listen to Verbal Jint, go tell them to suck a rock hard whale dick. He sucks. I made this macro just for this stupid fucker.

New.F.O – female INFINITE?

So allkpop posted this article (or actually translated it but we all know it don’t mean shit):

I knew straight where this was going…

         Narnia? No! This my friend, is the moshpit of where all my unavoidable frustrations in Kpop comes from. Ugh.

Hmm. Interesting. In my honest opinion (lol like y’all give a shit about that), their choreography was decent not that terrible or anything, also subtle. Even if ‘Bounce’ was the biggest shitfest my ears have ever heard before getting washed with acid (a metaphor, people, I’m not a dumbass) but I had to admit, they got the talent just a crap level song.

Another thing I was surprised with was the comments. Y’know one of the hardest things I can’t tolerate in the fandom is the well… fandoms. I’ve heard that Inspirits have been getting ‘big-headed’ with all their oppars’ fame and success lately so I expected more of this:

I don’t even know why I censored her username. Possibly cause I don’t wanna get sued, I’m paranoid with that type of    bullshit. 

than this…

What’s this?! Positive comments! Has the acid affected my eyes as well?

I probably owe the Inspirits an apology for judging them too early (cwutidt).

Nah but seriously I hope 6theory gets their shit together, hire a better composer, shoot the last one and give New.F.O a better song cause I’m not gonna lie, I kinda like them so expecting something more from them in the future or so.

hurrrrrrrr hurrrrrrrr hurrrrrrrr.

Question of the Week 22

What is the worst dance in K-pop?

Posting videos in the comment section is encouraged. 

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Jo Kwon makes my day

Oh, he literally did. I was having a hard time being stumped on what to write but Jo Kwon made it easy, almost too easy if you ask me. My savior posted this godly picture of him with two other angels that must’ve heard my prayers and complaints about the slow days in Kpop.

I’m so fucking amused JYP actually approved of this targic picture going up, motherfucker must’ve been high out of his mind.

Happiness overfills me as I crumble down to the floor laughing my ass off at this shitastic photo. Just look at them, Kwon with his bright smile of shining creepiness, Sunye’s beautiful presence that’ll make even the trolls cry in shame as they throw themselves off a cliff while thinking ‘We’ve totally got nothing on her’. But even Sunye got nothing on our honorary birthday boy. JYP is the real winner tonight by taking the achievement of derping on a whole new level.

In all seriousness, I hope no more idols post such monstrosity. Sure, it’ll make you giggle like the little girl you all are but don’t let those smiles fool you, it can haunt your ass in the middle of the night and make you wet your beds like it was being 5 all over again, which I think shouldn’t be a surprise to most of you here, right?  Mhmm that’s what I thought.

Apparently B2uties are flipping their shit...again.

First you had this awkward as fuck kiss (Hyunseung clearly isn't skilled in this department, which just adds to the gay rumours...although Kikwang gives off that vibe more imo! Don't kill me B2uties, you've thought about it too, lawl.), which caused rage, shock, horror & irreparable heartbreak amongst B2uties on twitter, tumblr, Kpop forums and other various networking sites.

& now you have this...

SNSD's MR Taxi

The rehashing queens are back, but this time with a giant fucking pile of shit. Mr. Taxi is an enjoyable song in Japanese and I liked the MV. Mr. Taxi was a nice gift after that piece of shit song known as Hoot. So how did SM fuck Mr. Taxi up? First off, this isn't a fucking music video. "Hey, let's get some concert footage and...yeah...let's do that." The second problem is the song itself. It always sounds terrible trying to match Korean lyrics to a Japanese melody. They tried and they fucking failed.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Ugly Ducklings

Back when Lee Hyori first announced her relationship with Lee Sang Soon, media sites were flooded with netizens saying comments along the lines of "ARE YOU F*ING KIDDING ME!?", which undoubtedly upset the couple.

So Hyori's great plan of countering this new wave of hate was to Tweet about her feelings:
“We are all insects under the sky…. People that are a little better looking, people that are a little uglier, people who have it better, some people who have it worse… what meaning does this all have?”

Monday, December 12, 2011

Don't watch if you are a Japanese person susceptible to seizures

Looks like X-5 hired the same MV directer that T-ara used for "Bo Peep" and "I Go Crazy Because of You".

I only know this due to the seizure I just endured from watching it.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Korean women are starting to get rights

Anyone remember my little rant back in July about how Korean women are treated like second-class citizens? It looks like Korea has taken the first step to ensure equality for women.

Kitten videos have nothing on IU

IU on Quiz to Change the World. Behold the cuteness:

What a cutie-patootie! She is so adorable. I love how she cannot even hold in her laughs and smiles throughout her performance. At least she knows her singing talent and charisma is what got her this far, and definitely not her dancing.

Although, they really made it awkward for her with the sound effects and abruptly cutting the music at the end when she still wanted to keep going.

Yeah, this post has nothing bad to say about her. There weren't even any mean or funny comments, either. That was disappointing. Just wanted to share the awkwardness and cuteness and to appease Davidfresh.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Has the "hallyu wave" made it's way to Hollywood?

Probably not but with the amount of court cases running around the Korean industry makes me wonder if JYP will start copyrighting their legs from now on.
On another note, I just can't help but think of strippers every time I see one of Miss A's album covers :/

lulz Hyomin.

so skillful unnie!
Astounding, right?! Our fellow Kpop fans seem to think so as well!

I hope you got that, sexual connotations and all. Comments like these make me question why we hate fangirls, they're so fucking entertaining. But speaking of Hyomin's physical appearance, she reminds me of-

Yep. nom nom nom. Johnny is super delicious. Hyomin however.... In her attempt to emanate sexiness, she ended up losing all her appeal instead. Not to mention she looks like a stick, holds a stick (stay classy plis), and her fucking haircut. You just know the makeup artists laugh their asses off every time Hyomin leaves the room. She probably feels it too. From (supposed) trendsetter and selca queen to fugly old hag and master of the cane, she has fallen quite a bit.

Luckily, we still have wonderful wonderful wonderful (fuckable) wonderful Soyeon. She's seriously just so great (and fuckable).  Fuck T-ara (take that as you will), Soyeon should go solo. Dance all slutty for us like Hyuna did. But for now, I'll be content having her as leader.

Not that it means jack shit. Especially in T-ara.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Question of the Week 21

Ohmygosh! Question of the Weeks are now moved to Fridays instead of Mondays! (due to the failure of Fashion Week Fridays. I suppose I just never had enough interest to look for sel-cas to critique)

In order to contrast a former Question of the Week's inquiry regarding 'Who deserves the title of goddess'...

Which idol do you believe deserves the title of "God of Korean music"?

I would have to say that belongs to Rain. Se7en could have been a close second back in the day.

Or Jaejoong/G-Dragon/Leeteuk/Sheechul
(no, not actually).

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to, or leave them in the comments below. Thanks!

Jaekyung and... to see...

Thursday, December 8, 2011

A Short History of K-Pop

There was a time when Korea meant kimchi, nuclear war and extremely addictive drama serials. Most, if not all of that, still holds true today - albeit with one new addition: The second generation of K-pop.

I actually made it through a Boyfriend MV

Why won't anyone love me?

Moon Hee Jun, back in November, announced that the only way he could score his first kiss was through date rape. No, I don't mean he took some girl out to a fancy dinner to only fancy himself to a dinner of her, I mean like a girl wanted him. Crazy, I know. This is what he looks like:

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

T-ara's Changing Leaders Already

Third leader this year...

The Piggy's who ruined December 6th

Sometime I think the entertainment agencies troll a lot more than the fangirls out there. And this makes me sad.

(Note: this is really old news from the fall/summer(?) but I stumbled upon it again and I'm still shocked/disheartened by it)

Oh Norazo Entertainment what have you done? If Aretha Franklin was under your label would you make her sing a Britney Spears song? No, why? Oh because she is a soul singer who can actually sing?

Piggy Dolls for the love of God don't sing another generic pop song. These girls aren't a Yoona or Nichkhun who can't sing a single note. But I must say the glasses girl finally has a reason to wear glasses, I had to squint through the entire MV.

Here is a little poetry that I think perfectly describes their debut till this song:

This little piggy went to the sunglasses store,
This little piggy went to the barber,
This little piggy went to the diet store,
All these little piggy said“I’m going to finally be like all the other idols and spit out crappy generic music and try to be overly cute!”

(We pick on fangirls a lot (and rightfully so) but agencies are just as bad sometimes, any other instances where the agency is worse than the fans?)

Monday, December 5, 2011

Question of the Week 20

This week's question comes from Liquidusx:
What's your favourite dance?

Thanks for your question for this week!

Don't judge me. I know how to do Jang Woo Hyuk's "Time is [L]over".

I suppose Brown Eyed Girl's "Abracadabra" and SNSD's "Gee" are pretty iconic, so I do quite enjoy them. But I quite like the chorus of many dances, so I guess I do not have a favourite per se.

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to, or leave them in the comments below. Thanks!

Lovey Dovey to have 5 fucking MVs

Five fucking MVs? God damn. The only good thing I saw is that there's going to be three directors. We may get two versions that don't induce seizures.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Lee Hyori likes fugs

We all know the "shocking" revelation between Hyori and...that...thing...she's dating. She recently stated that she didn't like men who were too attractive.

Shame on you

Park Bom shamelessly shopping for lingerie, dressed indecently with leopard print booty shorts

Look at her. Shopping for sexy, red lingerie like some sort of filthy whore. I didn't know that YG Entertainment promotes vixens. The nerve of some women. Have some decency! You're nearly 30. What kind of role model are you being for these kids?

Netizens are erupting with comments of disgust:
"That is embarrassing"
"Shopping for underwear? In public? What are you doing? You're an idol!!!"
"Please have some decency next time"
"I used to look up to you, unnie. But now I see that you are shameful."

But seriously. Wtf. Are you kidding me? What is wrong with buying undergarments? Everyone (I should hope) does it. It seems like netizens don't shop for undergarments by the looks of it. So wait... do all of them just walk around commando or something then? Or maybe they just don't know how to buy things. That would explain the immaturity as a direct result of their age. I can only assume their mothers still have to do it for them. Besides, I think it is more shameful that a netizen followed her to that store just to take pictures.

Jessica Fingers the Fans

A video of Jessica at the airport caught public attention recently, as Jessica was seen stepping out from the gate and pointing her finger at the crowd of fans.

A little bit of Google-fu confirmed that allkpop is every bit the slimy lying bastards that they are.
Recently, a video clip of Jessica became an issue. It was named as a “training clip” because her finger gestures seem to train the fans who gathered at the airport to see her.

Straight from the horse's mouth (absolutely no pun intended), and in English to boot. Horses can train humans - must've been something I missed out on while cleaning out my collection of HD fancams.
In the interview, MC Yoo Hee Yeol, brought it up and let Jessica explained her side of the issue, “At that time the place where crowded by people who want to take pictures, and I recognized some familiar faces to me, because I was glad to see them, I was pointing at them as a sign of recognizing them.”

Wish they'd posted fans' responses to that. It's not every day that you get to see a horse make the Universal Sign of Fucking.

(pee pee loving, in the ass pounded fruit cake, and a trans gender loving freak has definitely got to be Quote Of the Week)

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Bang and Zelo "Never Give Up"

No, give up. Jesus Christ, this song is fucking ass.


This is not creepy at all.

On the topic of creepy.

This is exactly how I imagine most Kpop fans to be like in my head for some reason.


This one had to be shared with the world.

Did you see the way he slid across the floor! He is practically a pro now. Watch out, Taeyang, TOP-oppa's here to steal your position of only dancer in Big Bang.

Fans and VIPs alike are all erupting with comments highly praising his incomparable moves:
"pshaw TOP has always been the real main dancer CHOOM TOP ILU "
"TOP IMPROVED SO MUCH ! Lol ! I always knew that if he danced at 100% of his capacities he would ROCK ! I was impressed !!!"
"Ooohs! Hes sexy. LOL, and he's got some niice smooth moves now!"
" To whoever said TOP can't dance: WHAT NOW BITCHES?! Have a good day. ^^"

Is that really gliding? I kind of thought it was the idol version of sweeping the floor.

I am a VIP and I love TOP, but that video gave me second hand embarrassment.

Also, wtf was Seungri doing back there? A ho-down?

Crazy Update:
I found some rational netizens. Who knew?
"T.O.P cannot dance his body is to stiff, his body is stiffer than a boner."
"Lmao everyone knows TOP can't dance, looks like he's been taking lessons from Taeyang aka the embodiment of dancing hotness."


I think this was by far the best thing I have ever seen in my life in regards to K-pop. Words cannot express the hilarity. Everyone, go watch it now. TOP has proven my judgements wrong. Not only should he take Taeyang's place as lead dancer, but Park Bom's spot as lead vocalist, too.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

For everyone who claims that their idols are 'innocent'.

lol, you naive hoes.

& y'all didn't realise the meaning of 'WonderBang' earlier rofl.