Friday, September 30, 2011

Outside of idol music

First I need to take a break from MV reviews. There's 5-6 more I want to write. Anyway, people love to bitch about idol music (everyone on this blog is guilty of this at some point) but no one knows where to look for other music or don't know who to listen to.

I posted this song just because I think indie rock would most likely be more accessible to the readers here than hiphop, but who knows. Leave your suggestions in the comments below. Everyone gets tired of idol music at some point or simply just need a break from idol music, which is why I wrote this.

Fashion Week Fridays 2

This is a new weekly thing I'm trying to start on top of my Question of the Weeks, so bear with me if this is still in the works for improvement. I am not entirely sure how I want to go about with this, so be patient. For the most part though, it will be a collection of good and just wrong sel-cas I have seen throughout the week shown in a single post. If you have any ideas for how you want this done, leave them in the comment section or email ideas/photos you think are worthy of being posted to Thanks.

This will be a much shorter one compared to last week's. Nothing glaringly upsetting or amazing has come up in regards to pictures I have seen this week, but the outfits in this MV made me sad:

B1A4 - Beautiful Target

I can't even-

Wtf is up with those outfits. Sandeul's hot pink-green-yellow camouflage jumble of a jumpsuit really irritated me. Pretty much the only acceptable outfits (other than the normal ones of "sexy" firefighter, paramedic, lawyer, etc.) was Gongchan's tiger coat (Because I actually secretly want it). I just don't get their style. Are they trying to be "edgy" and "new" like 2NE1 allegedly is? It's just I will never approve of stupid clothing thrown together as being fashionable. Sorry, G-Dragon.

The next two pictures are of MBLAQ's Thunder and T-ara's Hyomin, both of which I am fans of, but am forever confused as to why they would post such horrible sel-ca's of themselves. Again, the internet is a cruel, cold, dark place. It is very unforgiving. Therefore, posting terrible photos of yourself just sets you up for ridicule. I could not even recognize them.

I can't even.

If I had feelings, I would be very upset right now.

Oh well. This made me feel better:

Thursday, September 29, 2011

I Spy with My Little Eye Something that is Pedobear

Recently, INFINITE's Woohyun guested on Strong Heart and felt the need to explain why they all burst out crying with their relatively recent music wins (but doesn't like everybody cry when they win on those shows?). Apparently, they were so overjoyed because Woolim Entertainment's CEO promised them a new dorm if they ranked top 3 with their single "Be Mine" (which in my opinion was one of their less impressionable songs but whatever).

See, the CEO felt the need to house 12 of Woolim's trainees in his own home alone with him. According to Woohyun, the house was in pretty terrible condition consisting of problems like "heaters breaking down, or rain seeping into the house and causing the wall paper to peel, and pieces of cement to come off". Also, the quote that blew my mind: "There was no front entry way so even if they opened the door slightly, fans could peek into the whole house, which caused some problems when the members would be walking around in their underwear".

In. Their. Underwear.

Wtf are these boys doing walking around their CEO's house in their underwear? I bet it was the CEO's idea himself.

Did no one think to question why this (I assume) 50+ year old man living on his own insisted that 12 male trainees live with him in his house? Did INFINITE's parents not have any red flags come up when the CEO said "I would like you keep your sons with me. And no, you cannot visit as they'll be very busy with my training".

Because I know if I were CEO of anything, I would like to keep under-aged boys in my basement and have them dance and sing for me for money.

Speaking of under-aged boys: Boyfriend's MV teaser came out not too long ago.

That look on the girl's face and the creepiness of the hand gently stroking her cheek awkwardly at the most inefficient angle is about as disturbing as Woolim's CEO keeping 12 young trainee boys in his basement. Kwangmin, you're too young to be a creeper yet.

Surprisingly, this upcoming single was produced by Sweetune. So have high hopes, but be prepared to be disappointed with the execution.

PS. According to a rumour, Woolim's CEO actually made a similar promise to INFINITE before when they were promoting "Before the Dawn" (they only had to rank top 7 back then). Clearly, that never happened. And apparently this new dorm is not even ready for them to move into yet. They have just been told about their wondrous marble floors and bodyguards and elevators.

10 bucks says the CEO just builds up their hope from winning and then crushes them later with his lies so he may console them whilst they weep in their underpants.

What a sick man.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Kim Kyu Jong's Yesterday MV

I know. "Who the fuck is Kim Kyu Jong?" He's a member of SS501. Yes, there are four others not named not Kim Hyun Joong. The other four not named Kim Hyun Joong are actually the good members of SS501. Anyway, on with the MV, which co-stars Yang Jiwon, the girl that regrets dropping out of T-ara.

So Kyu Jong comes in with a box and Jiwon says "Let's stop." The look on Kyu Jong's face is priceless. "Dude, the fuck? I'm the better looking one and your bitch ass is turning me down?" is written all over his face. The Jiwon tells Kyu Jong that this is as far as they go. Now Kyu Jong has to dance his sadness away. With his suspenders being one of the main focuses...

While Kyu Jong dances his sorrow away Jiwon is meeting another man in front of a vehicle. They're laughing. She's probably telling the other guy how bad Kyu Jong was in bed or some shit. After some more dancing, Kyu Jong and Jiwon are together in the car arguing.

Kyu Jong: Why are you being so fucking upright? Be happy that I actually chose you. I could have picked Jiyeon, you know?
Jiwon: You would pick that inferior version of Kim Tae Hee over me, wouldn't you?
Kyu Jong: Come the fuck on. I've been nice to you. I even went down on you. How many other Korean males do that?
Jiwon: That wasn't enough dickface.
Kyu Jong: Shoving my face into the Amazon Rain Forest wasn't enough? Jesus Christ, bitch. Get the fuck out of my car.

Then after that, Jiwon opens up the box and then seems to try to get back with Kyu Jong. But in the end they don't.

I like the song. There was nothing for me really nitpick at aside from the dance when it focuses on the suspenders. The SS501 members have all done well solo musically. They all seem to be better solo than a group, but for the less popular members like Kyu Jong (I'm just assuming he's one of the unpopular ones since I didn't know his name until just recently) probably misses the money that he had coming when SS501 was raking in as a group.

Korea's Justin Beiber

Being that this new soloist was from Canada, I just had to look into it because I know all of you here love another fellow Canadian-Korean singer, G.NA.

Park Seong Min is Korea's latest male solo singer (those are rare nowadays, aren't they) to debut this year in hopes of making it big. But, much like every other rookie, he probably will not succeed. At least for a long while anyways. And for some terrible reason, he has been given the title of Korea's Justin Beiber. I feel kind of bad for him. He is already condemned with a horrible label even before a stage debut. His chances of succeeding are probably even lower now. I don't understand why he was labelled as such though. He doesn't even look that young or effeminate.

Park Seong Min (박성민) - Beautiful Girl (뷰티풀 걸) [MV]

To be honest, I found this music video almost excruciatingly boring. It is not like he is drop dead gorgeous, nor is his voice impeccable. But I suppose he is pretty alright. The song was not very captivating either though. I can see him ending up like Eru (who actually had a nice voice) sadly. And for those of you who don't know who Eru is, that just proves my point exactly.

On a scale of 1 to terrible, I would give this song and MV about a 6.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Infinite's Paradise MV

First thing is first. Why would the director make a girl wear a short skirt (I think it's a skirt but may be really short shorts) and have a guy laying on the floor to sing? Honestly, if it were me, I'd be staring between the girls legs instead of singing and looking at the camera, but that's just me.

Also, I just learned that Infinite is a co-ed group. Just goes to show how much I pay attention to these guys. When I heard a girl's voice show up in the song I was thrown a curveball there.

Aside from all of this, this MV is really underwhelming. They half-assed a story MV just showing a girl walking around her house. What the fuck was the point of the trains? Infinite are the supposed "Dancing Gods" yet there's no dancing.

The song is good though the rap is really unneeded. Come on Kpop, can't we have one idol song without some damn rapping. At least the rap is only ten seconds long, but come the fuck on.

A little off tangent, but isn't this Infinite's 4th title track of the year? Woollim is whoring out these guys since they don't have Epik High to make 99% of their income anymore.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Tablo + YG

Okay, quite a few of us hate this news. I had only had negative thoughts about this. "Please, for the love of God, no collaborations with Big Bang and/or 2NE1." "Why YG out of all companies?" Then I remembered YGEX (YG + Avex) and then my hope for a Tablo + Verbal collab shot up, even though that'll probably never happen.

Oh well. Tablo sold out Epik High with Run and now he sold out himself. If he makes a great album, great, because I want him to make good music again. I have my doubts that he'll ever compose something worth listening to again after his scandal, but who knows? All I know is that I'd only want Gummy and Psy to be on the album if anyone from YG has to be on it. No fucking tracks produced by Teddy either.

Though, to be fair, Woollim did fuck over Tablo. Maybe YG will actually support him. Who knows? But for the time being, I don't like him joining YG. Maybe it'll pass over in a week or something. It didn't hurt Psy any.

Question of the Week 13

This week's question comes from one of our readers, Jae:
What was the very first K-pop song you heard? How old were you when you first heard Korean music?

For me, the first song that introduced me to Korean music was either Dong Bang Shin Ki's 「Rising Sun」 or Super Junior's U, both of which I discovered when I was 13.

Thank you again for your suggestion!

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to Thanks!

Stay classy 4minute.

Yeah, I know. What class?

The fuck is this shit? Seriously. The problem here is that it wasn't funny or entertaining the first time, but Hyuna couldn't take a hint and brought Sohyun into this terrible (and apparently recurring) theme of picking ones nose.


Sunday, September 25, 2011

Full House 2

The last two rumors when it comes to casting are No Minwoo and Hwang Jung Eum. They're both from Mnet. So, which T-ara member do you think they'll throw in there along with those two (if both NMW and HJE accept the roles)? Will Jiyeon be the second lead and try to kill Hwang Jung Eum with her one eye? Will Hyomin be the second lead and try to hog all of the screen time? Will Eunjung be the second lead and get shafted of her screen time like she did in Dream High?

I just hope they have something like this in FH2.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

I just can't take Qri seriously.

I tried. Really.

When I first got into T-ara, all I could recognize was Eunjung, Jiyeon (cyclops eyes are a dead giveaway), and occasionally Boram (height) . As for the other three, I told myself: It's only a matter of time. And so it was. In time, I came to know Soyeon for her poker face on variety shows; Hyomin through Invincible Youth, ect. But if you asked me to point out Qri, I would resort to looking for the girl I couldn't recognize; there was simply nothing about her that stood out. I had to cheat. I had to find a way to be positive it was her. I.... I used her mole.

I don't want to be an asshole (too late?) and say that her mole is her most impressive feature, but.... well she's a pretty girl to be sure, with lots of great physical traits, but.... fuck. The fact is, everything about her is vastly overshadowed by her strategically placed mole (at least Jiyeon's mole is difficult to spot {didn't stop her from getting caught though}; imagine if Qri had stripped on webcam). I've found it to be a pillar, a paragon of consistency, and let's be honest: It's always around to ruin a perfectly good shot of Qri.

And that is the reason I cannot take Qri seriously.

BEG's Sixth Sense MV

You fuckers happy now that I took away time from looking at Han Ye Seul to review this piece of crap?

First of all, LMAO @ this MV. My sides are still hurting.

Okay, I get some sort of Liar Game vibe for some reason. Probably because of that masked person they keep on showing. Then there's an army (of Everlastings I assume [probably all of the Everlastings]). Actually, this shit reminds me of North Korea.

Okay, now for the reasons I found this MV hilarious.

All of them have terrible makeup. I'm thinking their stylists were like "Even though BEG are the ahjummas of Kpop let's make them look five years older!" The others ones were probably thinking it was a good idea too.

I'm confident Ga-in was in the middle of taking the biggest shit of her life during her solo scenes. You wanna know why she was saying "bitch"? The turd was tearing her asshole apart. She probably broke Randy Marsh's world record.

Narsha....with clothes from Bedrock you're only going to turn on Fred Flintstone looking like that. I just laughed whenever you tried to be sexy.

Jea...she looked like a 40-year-old tranny here.

Miryo looked like one of those butch lesbians here.

As for the song itself, it's good, but the meows were fucking stupid. I'm just surprised they released the album this year.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Shindong brags he's close to lots of female idols.

[Shindong] "smoothly acknowledged that he’s close with countless female idols. He explained, 'I think girl idols are comfortable around me because of myoppa-next-door image on TV shows.' "
No no Shindong, do not fool your ant brain encased in a huge-ass-head. The girls are comfortable around you because to them, you're just like one of her gal pals. They don't really see you as a man they're at all interested in. Let me explain something to you, called the "Ladder theory."
Btw, losing weight does not help you jump from an inferior ladder to the Real Ladder.  

On a slightly related note, I found this video someone posted of "A-cha" except they changed the pitch up almost a whole octive because they didn't want to get caught by youtube. I personally think it adds a little chipmunky punch to the otherwise monotonous song. Kinda hilarious.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Album review: Brown Eyed Girls - Sixth Sense

My reviews tend to be really in-depth but for your sake I will do this lightly.

Jewelry S's Forget It MV

Okay, does anyone even give a shit about Jewelry here? Well, I don't, but I decided to review the MV anyway. Why? Because the girls are fairly attractive. Jewelry has 3 good looking members so 75% isn't too bad and better than most idol groups out there.

I'm gonna do something a bit different with this review. I really had no problems with the song or MV, but there are things I would change in the MV so that more people would actually like it. The song is good, as it's the kind of song that got me into Kpop in the first place instead of the hook songs (that are dying. Thank God. The number of hook songs have decreased a lot this year. Or I've just avoided most of them.)

Okay, first thing I'd change is the vehicle. Volkswagens are for Nazis. Okay, I can make a dig at my own heritage (half German yo.) On second thought, Germany needs all the money they need since they have to bail everyone out in Europe.

Ideally, the first scene would have had the girl get out of the car wearing a tight white t-shirt. Instead of the car running over her purse, it should have run over a huge puddle and splashed all over the girl.

0:27-0:28 Nice shot for those of us that like thighs.

Oh yeah, they should have gotten a guy who look half interested in the girl. Just saying. Or they could have cut those scenes. Who the hell is watching it for that guy anyway?

Dancing in the rain: classic. Just do it in white t-shirts next time, okay?

After all of those feathers were blasted out, I felt sorry for the people who had to clean that shit up afterwards. That was a boring minute in the MV. At least the short haired girl was wearing short shorts. They should have had the two pillow fighting or some shit.

And for the last minute, fuck those damn umbrellas. They should have had some slo-mo scenes with the rain dripping all over them. C'mon Star Empire, you should have made a better MV. But at least you guys didn't make Kwanghee appear in the MV. And for that, I applaud you or else I would have been shitting all over this MV.

Yes, both of those girls are legal even though they look like they're 15. I double checked myself.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011


The song is good but the MV sucks. At least show the girl some more or some shit. It's boring watching a guy rap to a camera for five minutes. Spice shit up. But it doesn't surprise me that the MV is cheap since Supreme Team has quite a few cheap MVs.

Seriously, the only money they put into the MV was to hire that chick and to rent that damn car. The MV director was probably thinking "Well damn it, this MV sucks....let's add a nice car and a hot chick in the MV...yeah...maybe that will keep people watching this damn thing."

"But director-nim, the fangirls will watch it for Simon D alone."

"Bullshit. The fangirls don't even like his music. They just like him because he reminds those damn fangirls of Spock."

Simon D's album is supposed to be out soon but I doubt 95% of the readers care. Anyway...

Monday, September 19, 2011

Jesus Jaekyung, what is this

And if anyone even noticed her actual tweet:

I have no idea what this says, but through the ~magic~ of technology, it translates to something like Rainbow number 3 on Oricon, thank you very much, blah blah blah I will show more skin if we win an award show and if we place on top of Oricon I'll make a sextape.

Jaekyung is very Lizzy-esque in that they're both tryhard camera-whores, but she's hot and I don't have the urge to punch her face all the time. And if there's anything else we can take away from this, it's that Japan promotions are fantastic, STFU everyone who's bitching "ohhhh they're all debuting in Japan!!!!!1"

At least Japan appreciates nice things

Question of the Week 12

In honour of all the Nickhun videos I have (sadly) seen from this site, this week's question is:

Who do you believe is the worst Korean actor/actress?

Video examples left in the comment section are encouraged.

(I bet more than half of the answers will be idols)

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to Thanks!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Yoona cast in Love Rain

Nickhun fails to cry at WGM finale

This weekend marked the end of the couple dubbed as "Khuntoria." One of the show's more popular couples, Nickhun tried to provide some fanservice by shedding a few tears for the finale episode, but miserably failed.

Squeeze those tears out!! Come on just one tear!


Okay let's try this again.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Jo Kwon and Min are dating?

Netizens have done it again. They recently dug up this picture of Jo Kwon and Min subtly hinting at their lesbian relationship, which has long been a hot topic amongst netizens. In the post-intercourse picture, the two were seen reminiscing (rather confidently) about their homosexual activities of the previous night, only further convincing netizens that the two were dating.

I'm not too surprised, however. As much as we all thought Kwon loved dick, Min has always come off as butch, and the chemistry between the two was undeniable. Anyways. I applaud them for being brave enough to bring their controversial situation into the public eye; after all, the gay (literally) KBS drama got so much shit, it couldn't have been easy to admit their homosexual tendencies. Hopefully, (or not, depending on your take on homosexuality... but that is a topic for another day {and author}) this will open a gateway for more idols (I'm talking to you, Heechul) to come out of the closet without being judged.

Good luck you two. You'll need it.

T-ara's Log In MV

I imagine shit went down like this:

Jiyeon, Qri, Boram: "So, do we get any lines in this song?"

Manager: "Nope, we'll see you three tomorrow at the CF shooting."

J, Q, B: "You fuckers can fit in a shitty rap from Hwayoung but you can't give each of us a line?"

Manager: "Sorry. It's just how shit rolls."

J, Q, B: "Can't you just give us some of Soyeon's lines? She basically sings the whole song."

Hyomin and Eunjung: "No, you can't. If they take away any of Soyeon's lines, then the damn producer will take away our lines and give them to Soyeon."

Manager: "Guys, just roll with it. It'll be the same thing once you start having original Japanese songs."

J,Q,B,H,E: "What, we can't be like SNSD and translate 10 songs?"

Manager: "No, you guys have to remember that EMI will be running your Japanese promotions, not Kim Kwang Soo."


Yeah, I liked the song more than I thought I would. Though Hwayoung's raps have no place in the song.

Fashion Week Fridays

This is a new weekly thing I'm trying to start on top of my Question of the Weeks, so bear with me if this is still in the works for improvement. I am not entirely sure how I want to go about with this, so be patient. For the most part though, it will be a collection of good and just wrong selcas I have seen throughout the week shown in a single post.

If there are boys fapping (or to davidfresh, "fupping") to some of the pictures, please do not let me know. Don't defile the poor comment section as I usually read all the comments. ;____; (I'm just joking. I don't care if you horny boys spam the comment section with your perverted desires. I don't mind reading them ;D) ... [Aaaaaand now I seem even creepier and more awkward. Don't mind me... o___o"]


The first sexy pictures come from our lovely Nana of After School, modeling in Japan:

Next is another beautiful After School member, Kahi, modeling with some Sangchu chicken breasts. I know if I were a guy, I would get turned on by seeing a girl flaunt her breasts in a selca shot:

As much as I love Kahi though, seriously. Who poses with chicken? Kahi, you are so beautiful, so sexy. Is a packet of chicken with a shirtless man on it seriously the only prop you could think of modelling with?
This is also a pretty terrible selca. What was she trying to do in the first and third photo? I'm embarrassed looking at it. Why would you post that of yourself for the internet to see? The internet is a cold, cruel place. You are just setting yourself up with pictures like that. I can't even-

Third is another AS member, Jooyeon, being her usual, stunning self:

Look at those beautiful teeth. She should be doing dental commercials with those buck teeth. And the second picture? Regard how she seductively looks up at you, boys. Who doesn't want a piece of that sexy lady?

Now what fashion article would this be without some 2NE1?

Here, you can see Dara, everyone's favourite talent, sporting a fresh, new hairstyle she named the Vegeta hair cut. Pretty smart move by naming your hideous hair after a famous anime character there, Dara. By doing so, people who do not already hate you/who are not delusional may fall into your trap of checking out what the hairstyle is, who you are, and then learn to despise you after watching you perform and sing.

Not going to lie, when I first saw that picture, I immediately looked at the curry and thought, "I want to eat that. I must go make Japanese curry and eat it naoooo". Because curry is delicious. And far more interesting than Dara and her attention whoring ways.

And who can miss out on looking at beautiful photos of our facial expressions Queen, Park Bom:

Did you not feel the raw emotion oozing from each photo? Words cannot express how emotional I became after seeing each shot embodying beauty and human expression. The photographs, going from left to right starting at the top, are the epitome of innocence, worry, concern, and wonder respectively.

Actresses, take note. If you could move your face even half as much as Bom does when filming, you would be winning awards here and there for perfect performance.

(but seriously, as much as I love Park Bom, I honestly could barely see a difference between each picture. I think this site is ruining me. I am starting to see how plastic she really is...)

Finally, netizens have once again coined a perfectly nonsensical name for yet another physical attribute. This one goes along with the list of egg face, bagel girl, honey thighs, and chocolate abs:

$1 Million Dollar Legs

And who, you might ask, is the smashing winner of such an honourable title? Why, none other than Big Bang's TOP!

Mmm. Damn boy. Look at those hot, long, insanely and unhealthily skinny legs. I can barely contain myself when I see them.

Apparently those photos have been popular on message boards with pre-teen girls talking about how fine they are and what indecent things they would do to a boy with legs as masculine as those.

Seriously netizens? Half of these are the pictures many (NOT ALL) of you obsess over and spend hours of your life looking and spamming about?

My goodness. Our generation really is the end.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

MV Review:「THUMBS UP」 - Crispi Crunch

Censored version of Crispi Crunch's -「THUMBS UP」:

That's cool and all. I quite enjoyed the part with the shaking of the camera and the angry director. I know whenever I F.S.U. and hit camera men, I run off like a little girl giggling and screaming, too (but I don't get caught like a boss!). But...

This is how you make a music video.

Un-cut version:

I like the disclaimer at the beginning.

Both versions of their MV are good. I just prefer this one because I'm a dirty minded girl. But the woman who sings part-way through kinda ruins it for me.

I want to party with these boys. Also, who HASN'T done that with a bottle of champagne?

And who pees with the door open in a club?!

SONEs never cease to amaze me

Some times I forget I am an author on this blog...anyways

I saw this hilarious comment a few days ago from a video of Girls Day (specifically Minah) singing Gee.

Said Comment:

Just LOL

Guess this needs to be added

Nicole joins the club... the next idol to release a remixed version of her group's song.

Amidst a busy schedule Nicole was able to spend some time in the studio to make a remixed version of Step. In this version, Nicole's raps replaces the rapping in the original song. Since the song is called Step, Nicole wrote about how the other Korean girl groups need to step up their game in Japan.

Remixed rap:

All these pussies need to step their shit up
We comeback to Korea and they flock to Japan
They believe they can emulate our success
Hahaha they can't sell crap, man
T-ara's entering Japan just to be flops
Won't sell shit with a face like Cyclops
AS riding Amuro Namie's ass for some fame
We have our own Namie, one step ahead of the game
Secret? Did they even chart on the weekly's?
Oh, they sold like 15 copies? News to me.
All you bitches have fun flopping
As for my laughter there's no stopping

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

JYJ's Heaven MV

So, I came into this thinking my ears were going to raped. I really did. But hey, at least the song was alright. Coming from JYJ, alright is probably the highest praise they'll ever get from me.

So it's a storyline MV featuring Junsu and Song Ji Hyo with a cameo appearance from Daesung. Honestly, it sounds like Junsu never went through puberty. I was also disappointed with Song Ji Hyo not showing her boobs. Just saying. But hey, at least we didn't have to see Jaejoong and Yoochun in the MV, so that's a plus.

Oh, as for the song, it's a great thing Yoochun didn't rap. He fucking blows at it. Though there was some strange sounding voice in a couple parts of the song so I'm assuming it was him. It didn't sound as girly as Junsu's and Jaejoong's voices.

In the end, the MV was alright, but it's an MV we've all seen, and done better. I'm glad Daesung was able to spend some of his time with a cameo appearance.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Jessica looks like a mentally disabled donkey.


Question of the Week 11

I got 5 minutes before I have to drive to class.

Who is the last idol on Earth that you would ever want to be with? As in, even if you knew you had to re-populate the Earth, and the only one left to do so with was him/her, who would you absolutely refuse to be with, even if it meant saving humanity?

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to Thanks!

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Yang Hyun Suk is bragging about YG's trainee system

“YG only had a select few trainees, but we’ve been increasing the number since 2011.  If you look at it one way, we get outstanding talent for free."

If you get the trainees for free, why did you use a cheap surgeon on Bom? YG should have had more money to spend compared to SM and JYP.

"My trainees are all children who have talent not made through effort, but through talent they’re born with."

Yes....I totally believe you...except there's a 2NE1 member named Sandara Park. That right there makes you a liar.

"The second are the trainees who don’t practice because they know that they’re good. Of course, YG doesn’t let lazy prodigies just slide. We either let them die out or try to fix it. This is where the great system we’re known to have comes from."

Yeah, you throw out people with talent (May Doni anyone?) and allow untalented trainees to join groups.

"People say that I’m stingy with compliments but I think it’s definite that a YG trainee is talented and good. I have to play the bad guy that criticizes what they lack in the middle."

At this point I feel like I'm reading something from a politician. At least the guy could be honest and say the concept is what makes YG groups popular instead of calling every single member talented when it's not true.


I am now, how you young kids now-a-day say, "stanning" this relatively new American-Korean R&B Hip Hop group, Aziatix. Their CD, Nocturnal, is pretty good. For the most part I like all of their songs. This will be sort of a group review (which may not be coherent as I am so damn tired). But I have nothing bad to say about them, so it will not be a "LOLERPALOOZA" or a "troll" article.

But, damn, Eddie. Cut your hair. You look much better with shorter hair. Seriously.

MUCH better

Eddie Shin here actually released a solo album in Korea back in 2005 under Cube Entertainment up until 2009 with three singles. After a while, he claimed he was, "done with this bullshit" and ended up leaving to suddenly re-surface with AZIATIX.

Now, every group needs a rapper apparently, and Jay Park's their guy. No, not ex-2PM member, Jay Park. FLOWSIK (his stage name) Jay Park.

There's a third guy. I forgot everything about him. But I mean, he's good too and all.

Their only handicap whilst trying to make it big in Korea though is that they work with Jae Chong. For those of you who do not follow who the songwriters and composers are, in short, he is a Korean-American who works with people like Coco Lee, BoA, Vanness Wu, Jolin Tsai, etc... and created Taiwan's first hip hop company, MACHI Entertainment. Which is great, but... he has also worked with JYJ on producing their English CD. I am sure I just heard most of you gasp in horror and disbelief. Yes. I said it. J.Y.J. So, I am sure many of you will have immediate biases against this poor group considering half the world seems to be tired of JYJ stirring shit up.

And like every other Korean artist, they hope to break into the North American music scene with their "cool and fresh beats". Being that all of their songs are already in English and that they all grew up in the US, I think these boys actually have a good chance. Their music is great, and that's what really matters in the music industry, am I right?

=___=" Who am I kidding.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

And the runner-up for least expressionable faces after Park Bom goes to...

UEE is the best actress evaaaz!!1!one

"Netizens all around have been praising UEE of After School for her flawless acting in Ojakgyo Brothers. Noted for her perfect beauty, she has received much attention for her multiple, believable facial expressions, with fans finding up to 20 different expressions throughout the episodes."




Because, in my opinion, the first set of photos appear forced. As in she was telling herself, "Okay UEE, try to move your muscles through the botox and plastic surgeries in order to get the money so I don't have to do more sleeping around!". Set number two and three look painfully exaggerated. In fact, my face even hurts looking at it. Finally, those last few pictures look like she was caught off guard. Which is probably a good thing as that is the most "natural" any of us will ever see her.

I feel bad for appearing to "shit" on UEE. It's not that I hate her or anything. I just think she is very overrated.

But back to me "shitting on her".

"Staff members were so convinced with her drunk, bitter woman acting during the filming that they dubbed her as a natural-born actress."

Are you all sure she wasn't actually drunk? I mean, if she was apparently that believable, there was probably some magic behind it. Sometimes we all have a drink or two to "forget some pain" and "erase the past", but none of us are praised for it or told we are amazing and deserve an award! Double standards! I call BS. And women naturally are bitter. That doesn't count as acting.

Finally, during KBS 2TV's show Secret (with both UEE and guest G.NA), apparently UEE "politely" told stories to those present that G.NA is essentially an off-beat, rhythmically challenged, over-the-top dancer who was pretty much a handicap (due to her many mistakes) to the group, Five Girls. Wow. You are a diplomat. Speaking ill about your senior on television. I can see why the rest didn't want to be in a group with you anymore.

You truly are a Diva. (see what I did there? =O)

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Hiring new authors (UPDATED)

Since no one apparently reads the Update section on the right, I'm making this post.

I'm looking to add 1-2 writers here.

Here's how the application is going to work:

1) Send 1 MV review
2) Send 2 articles that are reaction to news articles.

Send them to

After that, I, along with some of the other authors, will evaluate the authors and pick from there.

After the author(s) are picked, they will have a trial period of 10 articles. After that, we'll decide if the author(s) stay. This is mainly to see if the author is consistent or just a one-hit wonder.

I know I made a mistake the last time adding 6 authors after only seeing two articles from them, so that's why it's going to be a little tougher this time.

And for those of you who apply, quality > length. Don't feel the need to write a novel like Suckmydee used to do.

UPDATE: Changed it three articles. Five is too much at once. However, if there are more than TWO candidates who meet our expectations, we will have a second round where there will be TWO more articles submitted to review.

T-ara to come back with black eyes

So, that buttfuck Kim Kwang Soo announced T-ara's coming back with a "mini album" at the end of October. Most likely to be two new songs and 6 remixes since he's a fucking douche. But anyway, they're supposed to come back with an electropop sound. Hopefully it'll be like the songs in AFA but I'm not holding my breath because of the troll that runs CCM.

So, concept. 2010 was the year of stalker songs for T-ara. The guy being stalked finally got tired of their shit and gave the girls black eyes.

I wonder if Chris Brown is gonna be referenced in the song/MV.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Girl's Day clarifies about diaper fashion

(Couldn't find the original fancam with Hyeri in yellow; please do link me)

Recently, Girl's Day spoke up about their "diaper fashion" controversy. Minah (often considered the most humble and soft-spoken) said this: "They weren't diapers".

Well thank God: I know I wasn't the only one sighing in relief. Damn, they really had us going there; hell, I was afraid to call myself a Girl's Day fan for a while, what with all the Huggies jokes going around. You know you thought those were diapers too, admit it. But yeah, now that they've clarified that... phew. We're safe y'all. We are safe! FREEDOM.

Um, yeah. Anyways. (wat). Since we're on the topic of Girl's Day, here's their newest MV (although it is safe to assume most of you have already seen it).

The song is catchy, albeit nowhere near Twinkle Twinkle's level. It's still loads (not the kind you're thinking of) better than "Hug Me Once" though. The MV, once again, has a home-made porno feel to it (to a lesser extent), with Sojin acting as director. And... she looks like an old, Asian hood rat. /gag

In contrast, Hyeri looks like a delicate, heaven-sent slice of jailbait, especially when put in context. Yura is (and I really never thought I'd ever say this) unfortunately ass-faced in the video. It's unbearable to see of girl of her caliber looking like this. Jihae, for once, looks okay. Possibly better than Yura (it's a sad day y'all). And despite what others think of her, I think Minah has a lot of charm going for her, and she's pretty to boot (not in the traditional sense though). Of course, she gets a couple of ridiculous adlibs near the end.

Lastly, props to Minah for trying the Kyary face.

Why do idols keep ruining Dynamic Duo's songs for me?

Time to lol at the comments in the video.  

"you guys are awesome, i kept on staring at the one wearing grey joggers cuz he has a huggge dick i wanan suck it sorry had to be said your fit"

Lmao. So many Korean penis jokes could be made.  

"I AGREE! These two should do some kind of rap sub-group or something. They're so cool rapping. <3 It could match Supreme Team's rapping too! And all the time I hear "Kirima" only to find out it's "Nae Ap-gireul Makjima". LOL. :P"

Match Supreme Team? lmao. If the group wasn't so unpopular there'd be more hilarious comments on the video.

What did Dynamic Duo do to deserve this shit?

After School in Kitty Ears~!

Hello After School Kitties


Apparently After School had a collaboration with Hello Kitty back in mid-August to celebrate and promote BANG!, their first Japanese single.

This is not a blog post that is cynical, satirical, or even humorous. I just wanted to share my love of After School with all of you.

Well, that and also because I know many of you readers out there like seeing girls in kitty ears. Some sort of bestiality fetish, I suppose.

I hope this satiates your desire to see these sexy ladies in cat ears.

Hyoyeon is ashamed of Min.

Oh the irony.

I mean sure, maybe her fellow members (like Suzy {especially while wearing sweet kitty ears, mmmmmmm}) have reason to be ashamed; Min ain't exactly a looker (unless you're into midgets with bods; no judgement from me). But Hyoyeon, of all people? Girl(?), she ain't half as bad as you (exaggeration: it's actually surpringly close, what with Min's recent deterioration of beauty).

I don't want to be spreading misinformation though (note: We do read all the comments you know, and the others may not admit it, but your brutal comments hurt like when a nympho whips you with a flail with little spike-balls at the end, during angry sex ). The original article was about Hyoyeon disapproving of Min's sporadic twitches on just about every conceivable variety show (and she does have a point).

Anyways. This whole affair reminds me of Will Ferrell and Eve Mendes in The Other Guys (of course, on a completely lesser scale).

Update: We decided to contact Hyoyeon for clarification.
She remained silent on the issue but Yuri explained for her:

Sooyoung's glorious legs (again)

To be honest, she doesn't even look that bad... until you scroll down. Damn.

Before y'all start complaining about how she is "a shikshin!!" (food goddess) and how her metabolism is abnormally quick, k. Shut the fuck up.

This article is moreso directed at those of you who constantly worship her legs. Fine, let's say she doesn't have a dietary problem. It doesn't take away from the fact that her legs are as skinny as Goo Hara's wrists (trufax). Taking this into account, how the hell can you people say she has the best legs in SNSD, let alone Kpop? Is it delusion? A warped sense of beauty? Or is it merely the fact that Sooyoung (among others) really contributes nothing to the group, so she is stuck with a random attribute in which she is considered "the best"?

Monday, September 5, 2011

Question of the Week 10

Who, in your opinion, is the most fashionable idol/actor/actress?

If anyone has suggestions for later Question of the Weeks, please send them to Thanks!

Kara's Step MV

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkkk yeah!

Okay, now that I got that out of my system, let's get to the review.

The outfits are hit or miss, depending on the person's taste. Some people will hate the blue outfits that have a lot of color to them and other will hate their individual outfits. Others may hate the black/blue and yellow outfits. Some people will bitch about how they barely wore those dresses in the MV. My main complaint: not enough skin. Come on DSP. Come on. Though, can't blame you. The girl groups have to dress like the fucking Amish if they don't want their MV to be banned.

"Their choreography is so easy!" So? It's fucking Kara. But right, it's okay if your oppas from another group have a simplistic choreography. I forgot. My fucking bad. Anyway, they shake their hips a lot so I like it. I would have liked more ass shots DSP. Just saying.

As for the song itself, I only have one problem. The Kamilia in me is like "Shut the fuck up, nothing is wrong with that part." The Korean music fan in me is like "Yes, there is a problem asshole. It's my biggest pet peeve about idol songs." I'm talking about the rap part.

The Kamilia in me: Shit man, just compare the raps to previous songs. It's much better than the rap in Honey.

The AKF in me: Dude, it's idol rapping. It blows. Come the fuck on. That shit needs to be eradicated from idol music. Plus Nicole can sing (compared to some of the other members) so it's not like she needs to rap. The energy in the part of the song is good, but the rapping is still bad.

Kamilia: Fuck you.

AKF: No, fuck you.

But there's a bigger problem after the rap. It suddenly goes to the slowest part of the song right after that. I feel like the chorus should have been stuck in between those two parts. Speaking of the chorus, it's easily the best part of the song. And I'm fucking happy this wasn't a hook song. We haven't had as many hook songs this year. Good going Kpop, because the hook song needs to be benched for ten years or so.

This is also the first MV where I had no problems with a member's appearance. Usually one member gets trolled by the stylist but none of them really bothered me this time. Plus there's some Gyuri cleavage (check tumblr for that shit, I'm too lazy to go look for it and post it yet on the other hand I was able to type all of this filler in the time I could have went to tumblr to find a pic of her cleavage. Oh well) so that's a plus.

Step is one of my favorite idol songs of 2011. Yeah, and in case you're wondering, I haven't listened to many idol songs this year.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

G Dragon and JYJ to come back

But no one here gives a shit...okay, maybe three people.

For the rest of the readers, a sexy Hyosung pic. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The K-pop dictionary (fangirl edition).

Doing this cause doing normal entries are fucking boring.

Your latest album was shit biatch.

Daebak/Jjang - I'm a Koreaboo, I look so damn cute when I say this when my oppar and unnirs release shitty songs + MV's and win awards because we bulk buy the fuck outta it + I'm a delusional stan hence I shall praise it to high heavens or else my fandom shall eat me alive kekekekekekekekekekekeke motherfucking ke. ^.^ + I use this word when I waste 5 hours trending oppar's/unnir's name on twitter for his/her birthday instead of doing my h/w, it's okay as long as mommy doesn't know.

Oppa - I shall abuse the living fuck out of this word because it's soooooooooooo damn kawaii...hold on that's Japanese my bad kekekekekekeke cute and I shall also refer to the male fans in the forums and articles as oppa cause I'm cool like that kekekekekekekekeke. ^.^.

 I also get mad when people mock us and use the ever-so-insulting term 'oppar' instead of 'oppa', like get it right pfft. Oh hold on a sec I use that myself kekekekekekeke.

My use of 'kekeke' is as fake as Nicki Minaj's ass, js.

E.g. Daebak people on Tumblr making these jjang
 gifs ^.^

Unnie - Although I dislike half the chicks in K-pop cause they so purdy and they probably fuck my oppas I shall call them unnie in an aegyo voice while I secretly hate them cause they sell more than my oppas ;_____________;. Shall refer to every older female on the forums/blogs etc in order to look cute and adorable. Now give me a fucking cookie.

Saranghaeyo - Hehe, this is the first phrase in Korean that I learned through cheesy K-dramas which translates to the 3 obvious words everyone dreads irl, however saying in Korean obviously makes it 100 x cooler, durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I don't mind the fact this is the most over-used phrase in sappy love songs in K-pop.

E.g. the moron below.

Troll - You don't like oppar/unnir so that means you're a troll. You may have a valid reason as to why you don't like oppar/unnir but I don't care *sings along with 2NE1* because you're a troll.

Haters gonna hate/U mad? - I can't take an opinion & I obviously cannot come up with a proper argument atm seeing that my retaliation would come across as weak or simply because I'm lazy like Snorlax, henceforth I shall spam macros/gifs with this particular caption in order to look like a faux badass kekekekekekekekekekekekekeke ^__^

E.g. A regular K-pop fan shares his/her honest opinion about your oppar (in this case 2pm) : 'Wow they suck live!'

Over-sensitive stan :

Hwaiting/Fighting - Although this is used by Koreans I obviously wish that I was one. Oh well I shall use this phrase every chance I get.

Jpop - Utter garbage. I don't know why fucking weeaboos listen to this shit. So many idol groups filled with pretty boys and girls who can't sing for shit (sans a few members in each group)...Oh wait, that sounds like Kpop idol least my oppars and unnirs are better dancers!!!!111oneone

Aegyo - Ewwwwwwwwwwww I hate it when those bitches from girl groups do aegyo to look cute like act yo facking age you fake ass hoes!!!!!! Get away from my oppar too okay?

Aigoo - I use this when my oppar/unnir fall sick or end up in the hospital cause they're overworked and aigoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo SM is so evil, his whisper is tha fucking luciferrrrrrrrrr!!!!!oneone.

Omo! - Omg is as outdated as your mum's wardrobe, pfft. It's all about doing aegyo and saying 'Omooooooooooo!' Hey at least I don't add a 'h' in front of it and say that out loud, hence KISS MY FEET BEECHFACE.

Fanwar - AHMAGAWDDDDDDD. Where do I even begin? It's my favourite part of Korean pop culture of course! This is where I put 90% of my energy on defending my beloved oppars and unnirs cause they obviously don't deserve all the hate because they work so hard and barely get paid much or get any sleep poor little things and oh bitch pleaseeeeeeeeeeee I don't care if my mum and dad work hard to support me and buy me things, like my oppars and unnies work a lot harder duhhhhhhhhhhh  *brb buying 10 albums on YesAsia/DVDHeaven using Dad's money keke* ! ;______;  and those people who don't like them are just stooooopid haters eww. I also need this to enlarge my e-penor of course!

Dubulge  - Hehe this term refers to Onew's penis, which according to Shawols is considered humongous. Man these Onew dickriders have never seen a dick in their entire life, maybe they should ask JYP ahjusshi to show them his gigantic package. Yes, he has a reproductive organ lets all kill him.

Maknae - Youngins that aren't legal yet but we'd like to bang the shit out of them regardless, who the fuck cares about jail?

Ahjusshi - Old perverted men that fanboy over SNSD & Kara ofc! Eww no wonder I don't like girl groups!!!!!!!!! They make me sick *goes to throw up in a hat*

Chocolate Abs - lol silly! It's not abs made out of milk chocolate! Pfft, whenever I see guys in movies and magazines with abs I always think to myself 'Kekekeke his abs are NOTHING compared to Taeyang/Jay Park/Chanslut/Lee Joon oppar's delicious chocolate abs'. OPPA LEMME LICK YOUR ABS PLEASE? I DON'T CARE EH EH EH EH EH IF YOU HAVEN'T SHOWERED IN A MONTH. SARANGHAE <3

Bagel Girl - Okay I know you think these slutbags sell bagels for a living but it's not true! They're basically sluts who have a 'baby face' and have a body that's voluptuous for Korean standards. Like they have that alien bitch UEE considered a bagel girl. Wtf are they smoking? Snooki's shit? Maybe, maybe not. If my oppar looks at these bitches in a more than a friendly way I shall cut that bitch into pieces and make sushi outta her boobies. COME AT ME BRO.

Honey Thighs - Ugh, such bullshit. Like who are y'all kidding huh? They obviously look good with photoshop, lighting and layers of make-up!!!!!!!oneone

Without them they ALL look like Hyuna's fugly cellulite ridden thighs omg.



Imitating your typical fangirl is a lot harder than I thought.
Props to you guys.

Not going to enroll in the K-pop school of fangirlology any time soon.

Thanks for the contribution Anti Kpop-Fangirl! 

T-ara's back to give you another seizure

What a disappointment. Japan was supposed to make this MV sexier. It's nowhere near as bad as the teasers that were released last week, but it's still a disappointment. I was hoping for so much more, but no. The first problem was that this was filmed in we're still stuck with the same director and the same asshole editors. I'd seriously like to look at girls' faces for more than .00025 seconds. Is that so much to fucking ask from these assholes? It just goes to show that the most incompetent CEO hires the most incompetent directors and editors.

There's supposed to be a story I suppose. Does someone need to be high to understand what the fuck is going on? I've watched this MV like ten times and I still have no idea what the fuck the MV is supposed to be about.

As for the song, from what I'm hearing, it translates better to Japanese than some other Kpop songs have. It's a good thing the original had some autotune so the autotune here doesn't really bother me (and it shouldn't, T-ara has shit Japanese. Be thankful for the autotune.)

While this may sound overly negative, I did like a few things about the MV.
1) More Soyeon. Obviously.
2) Eunjung's chest popping.
3) Barely any Hwayoung.
4) Sounds like the original line distribution is the same. I was fearing that they'd add a terrible rap for Hwayoung.

"I Bo Peep Bo Peep like dis, I Bo Peep Bo Peep like dat, Bo Peep dis, Bo Peep dat, YEAH!"

This is the song that made me a fan of 6-ara, much superior to the 7-ara of today. I was hoping that 7-ara wouldn't ruin this song, and thankfully they didn't, because it's pretty hard to ruin BPBP since it isn't great in the first place. I've listened to the original version nearly 1,000 times and most of it is due to the dance, the outfits, and the girls. I actually like the beat to the song, and the girls don't sound bad in the studio version, but BPBP was the song where T-ara started to really suck live singing wise. Overall, stick with the Korean version, both the MV (19+ version) and the song.

Friday, September 2, 2011

Happy birthday!

As four of you know, it's Lim's birthday!

I notice that fanbases like to pool their money together and buy their idols expensive gifts for their birthdays. At this important time before the Wonder Girls' Korean comeback, Wonderfuls should consider getting Lim the most useful thing she could receive right now: Plastic surgery!

Personally, I would recommend whoever recently overhauled Zinger's face. I mean, look at these results!

AS's Raina gives Phominutesluts a run for their engrish.

Okay Chuck I just had to, you baited me.

@1:00 ''If yo maynnnnnnnnnnnnn on a pho if he ain't lemme know. 

She's obviously talking about pho, must be one starving bitch.

Which basically means that if a guy's run out of some pho they should call Raina so that she could make him some more, durrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. 

Or as a cray cray feminist would say, she's re-enforcing the 'women belong in the kitchen' stereotype.


''Lemme see if you can brown it brown it, gurrr indeed I can brown it, brown it'' 

Referring to the infamous phrase 'Chris Brown it' = assault your girlfriend/wife.

Other similar phrases include : Chris Brown a Ho, e.g. 'Soulja Boy: We don't supaa man no-moe, we Chris Brown dat ho! Now watch me youuuu... 

So she's openly stating that she quite likes to enjoy Chris Brown'ing people, possibly with the help of her high heels. Maybe that's why Jung Ah's not getting enough lines, who in their right mind wants to get Chris Brown'd by Raina? Does AS's Bang! have some sort of underlying message behind it after all?


Original lyrics Girl the way that your wearin them jeans is turnin me on
I'm the hottest thing thats in these streets so baby won't you rock me...

Raina's misheard lyrics : Gurr the way you churn this tree is turning me ownnn, I'm tha hardest thang in this stleets so babyeee won't you run me...

@ 1:39 

''Make it dwop granny, make it pop granny ro-rock..
Teeeeck, tock to da crock fo me''

Yeah, I wouldn't mess with her either.