Friday, October 31, 2014

Appealing To Tradition Is Bullshit: Part 1

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." 

- Albert Einstein. 

By now, I am sure that the majority of people have heard this quote before. However, many people live by the creed of doing the same thing over in the same manner because "that's the way it's always been done." In life, there are things we have to put up with, but there's a breaking point for everyone. At what point should one simply accept one's circumstances - which are worsening by the day - just because that's the way it has always been done? Korean netizens and international netizens who wish to resemble their kimchi brethren, as much as possible, are at it again in regards to the drama industry's working conditions. These netizens use the appeal to tradition, and victim blaming while acknowledging what they are supporting is blasphemous - I'm attempting to figure out why they do that.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Can Nicole Really Make It Solo?

Nicole was my favorite member in Kara, but I was relieved that she was leaving the group. Now it has officially been confirmed that she will make a solo comeback under Butt 2 Munch Entertainment. I didn't even think she would get a real opportunity to go solo, but it actually is happening.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Lena Park feat. Verbal Jint - Sweet

Lena Park and Verbal Jint team up to average song. When I saw that Lena Park was featuring Verbal Jint in the title of the song, I was hyped.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Big boobs in k-pop guide part 2: the boobs that Kpopalypse forgot

Ever since I did my big boobs in k-pop guide post, I've been inundated with people complaining that my list left out their fave.  I knew this would happen, after all such an exhaustive topic is never going to be "complete".  Not only did I leave out some people, but several new performers have also emerged as possible contenders of interest, so it's time for a follow-up post to address these concerns and educate the general population in the virtues of k-pop boobs.


WARNING: before you click to read more - this post is bigger than Puer Kim's rack.  Prepare your browser appropriately for a large deluge of images of k-pop boobs.

Akiyama Rina

I don't have to write shit, but I will.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Tamaki Nami Is Still Living In 2002

Tragic. I don't think the song is bad, but it sounds very similar to the Gundam Seed songs she sang 12 years ago.

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Jealous bitches think they own Baek Yerin

So this is probably way out of the sight of most kpop fans, but it involves my favorite idol singer so I have to chime in. Apparently Baek Yerin has been criticized for playing favorites. But I have to disagree with the perspective here. You see, Yerin is ridiculously talented and clearly just wants to sing all the time and develop her ability in it. She's constantly posting videos of her practice in the JYPE dungeon and she made her own soundcloud and youtube, so you know she is legit.

One problem: JYPE doesn't give her shit to do! I mean fuck, even Miss A isn't getting a run this year, and it's not like the 15& material really utilizes her R&B/soul style anyway. So what's a girl going to do when she's trying to develop her performance and going stir-crazy in the dungeon? She'll fucking go out and perform for people herself. But let's remember she's still only 17 years old and depends on the company for everything. So naturally she won't be able to organize shit and will just do it with the people who actually make the time and put in the effort to be with her.

So is that playing favorites? I don't see any of these fans complaining that they went to talk to her and ask about when they could see her and then she withheld the information from them. I don't see anything about them trying to go to some of these busking things and being denied. Nope, I just see a bunch of lazy fucks sitting on their ass reading about what others got to do and then getting jealous.

Well hey, guess what, doing things with all fans together requires planning and money, and those two things either depends on JYPE or the fans. I don't see JYPE doing shit, and HMMMMMMMM I also don't see a bunch of fans organizing their money and everything and trying to negotiate things with Yerin insofar as JYPE will allow her. Nope, they are just sitting around whining as if they are entitled to her whole life.

These shits don't seem to understand anything about what it is to be an idol, especially a rookie who is a minor. If this was any indie artist nobody would give a single fuck because just finding anyone who actually cares to make something happen is how it always works. It is the standard practice and artists at JYPE are aware of how the real world of music works, but with idols we see this attitude of self-entitlement and possessiveness among the fans.

Yerin doesn't seem to care much about losing those kind of "fans" so she just got bonus points from this fan for being awesome and not letting people emotionally manipulate her into feeling bad about being a human with needs and yet also limitations. I hope she continues working with music and performance at her own pace regardless of what JYPE organizes for her or not.

Dear Kwon Nara,

Dear Kwon Nara,

I would like to sincerely thank you for being hot. 

Kim Tae Hee Wants You To Jack Off To Her In Ultra HD

Your wish is my command.

I'm drunk and looking at photos of Nana

What does a grown ass man do when he drinks too much?

Gets major erections while looking at nana photos. And wishing you could be with her...smelling that asshole. Please go away erection. Cum back another day.

Please lord jesus help ur sheldren.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Stellar - Mask

I had no idea Stellar released another song until very recently, which makes me regret writing this review so late.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

[MV Review] Spica.S - Give Your Love

UCAADs, I am on a roll. Eleven straight articles and I'm surprised I'm still awake considering some of the shitty songs I have had to listen to.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

LABOUM - Pit-a-Pat

Sharing the same name as BESTie's debut song, I had high hopes that this song would also feature a lot of ass shaking. Well, I am sorry to disappoint you all.

Monday, October 20, 2014

[MV Review] Teen Top - Missing

In an effort to try and review more boy band MVs, I selected the most recent one on Loen's channel (as of October 11), so I selected this MV. I am already regretting this, and I chronicle my horrifying experience below.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

[MV Review] Epik High - Born Hater

Epik High have finally made a comeback!! CELEBRATE!!

Buuuuut, since they're still under the YGE label, many people were very skeptical about how good this upcoming Shoebox album was going to be. After all, a lot of people were not happy with their YGE debut album, calling them YG-ified/shit and anything in between. From this preliminary offering, it seems like Epik High have struck a comfortable balance between their roots and their new company.

WARNING: Excessive amounts of GIFs ahead. Sorry m8s.

IU - Sogyeokdong

I expected to hate this song when I saw that Seo Taiji composed the song as I was expecting another "Nan Arayo" or some shit.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Kpopalypse language class - The Korean alphabet

It's a constant source of embarrassment to me that I DJ a k-pop radio show yet I can't speak a word of Korean.  I've got no plans to go to Korea or anything like that, but it sure would be nice to be able to read CD album liner notes and pronounce track titles correctly.  Also, it'd be great not having to rely on shady Netizenbuzz articles with creepy anti T-ara editorialising from NB herself in them for my netizen translations - it'd be especially nice to cut that particular umbilical cord.  Learning Korean language has been on my to-do list for a while now, but the trick is - how to get motivated to learn this shit as well as fit it into the rest of my busy schedule?  So I thought I'd make myself a blog post about it.


I always find that I memorise things much better if I'm forced to write down or type out the stuff, so by making this little alphabet post, it'll (theoretically) help me to remember the Korean characters and how they sound.  So this affair isn't one-sided and you the reader also get some value out of this even if you don't necessarily give a shit about learning Korean yourself, I'll use each letter as an excuse to extrapolate a bit on some things that are Kpopalypse-related that I've been asked about or that may be of interest to readers (or not).

Note: your browser/computer obviously needs to support Korean text reproduction or you ain't gonna see shit.

Han Ye Seul's Tits Are Amazing


Short Version of Amuro Namie's "BRIGHTER DAYS" Released

Queen MILF Amuro Namie has come out with a new song, "Brighter Days," that is the theme song for the drama "First Class 2," starring Sawajiri Erika.

Younha - Wasted

I wanted to write a full review for Younha's song, but this is my seventh article I'm writing in a row tonight (I'll most likely only write once a week, but all at once from now on), so I'll just sum up everything below.

Friday, October 17, 2014

[MV Review] Jolin Tsai - Phony Queen

Based Taiwanese goddess Jolin Tsai has released an MV for "Phony Queen" before her album hits the shelves later this fall.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

if CL "makes it" in the US i will eat my hat

For some reason, CL the charismatic and ever so lovable leader of 2NE1 is going to debut in the US sometime by Spring next year. 

[MV Review] TaeTiSeo - Holler

It's been a while since I did my last MV review (and Chuck is rightly yelling at me because I took so long to write this one), so I figured why not do it for Seobot?

Here's TaeTiSeo's comeback track, Holler.

Strawberry Milk - OK

Words cannot describe how terrible this song is.

Hail Soyeon

Soyeon is bringing her A game again with "Sugar Free." 

[MV Review] Song Ji Eun - Don't Look At Me Like That

I didn't know that Jieun had made a comeback until a few days ago. Surprisingly, this song wasn't composed by Duble Sidekic. Unsurprisingly, Jieun's title track is composed to Duble Sidekick.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Another Chinese UCAAD (Luhan) Defects From SM Entertainment

Soyeon's latest atrocity is just the most recent in a long list of atrocities committed this year

You'll burn in hell for this.
As I find myself still coping with Soyeon's atrocity that was committed this week when she had the fucking nerve to accidentally like Kai's picture on instagram, I'm comforted by knowing she's not the first or last celebrity to commit such a grievous act. 

Kpopalypse Monopoly

It's a rainy day indoors with a bunch of your friends who are all k-pop fans, and suddenly the power goes out.  What to do?  Time to forget about the Internet and entertain yourself old-school style with the only board game in the house, Monopoly.


Of course, today's k-pop lovers can't do anything for more than five seconds at a time unless it's related to k-pop somehow, so this post will show you how to customise your Monopoly experience with k-pop fun!  Here's how to set up Kpopalypse Monopoly for that rainy day!

Raina Has Transformed Into Eunji

I saw this yesterday morning and thought it was pretty hilarious. At first I was just going to edit the picture of Eunji, but then I read the text above the picture and started laughing even further. You would figure Koreaboo, the Buzzfeed of K-pop, would know who these idols are after making endless lists articles.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Takimoto Miori Joins Band "Lagoon" And The Band Releases Short Version Of Debut Single

This news came out of left field all of a sudden the other day. Japanese actress Takimoto Miori is returning to her roots and joining a rock band named Lagoon, in which more details are in this article from Tokyohive.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

[MV Review] Ailee - Don't Touch Me

Ailee came out with Don't Touch Me a couple of weeks ago and I completely missed it. I wish I didn't discover the fact that the song came out.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

KPOPALYPSE's 30 worst k-pop songs of 2012

Some of you folks have noticed that I've got a "best of 2012" list on my blog, but not a "worst of 2012" list, and have asked when will I do a list of all the shitty stuff from that year.  So due to popular demand as well as a desire to be a completist and scratch my OCD-itch here's a massively-belated list of what I believe to be 2012's biggest k-pop stinkers.


The reason for the omission of a "worst of 2012" list until now is because when I first started blogging it was around the end of 2012, and I hadn't figured out back then that people would actually prefer me to take a gigantic dump on their faves than praise them.  I only ever wanted to write nice things and be happy and say how great everything was... but these awful songs probably helped pushed me over the edge until I became the blogger that I am today.

Warning - this list has 30 YouTube videos and might get laggy on slow computers.  Give it a few seconds to load before you start scrolling down and crashing your browser, you impatient cunt.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Six Moments When We Wanted To Jizz On Jessica

In honor of Jessica and as a tribute to our favorite list-making site, Koreaboo, I present six moments when we (i.e. I) wanted to jizz on Jessica.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Create your own kpop scandal

dolla dolla billz, git dat money
In a year rife with scandals have you ever wondered how these things even get started in the first place? Do people just throw darts at a spinny board to come up with the latest scandal? It used to be that it required a lot of time and effort. For one, you have to be famous. Well I guess that's about it. However, with this patented space-age technology it is even easier and now you can create your own kpop scandal from the comfort of your home.

Nam Young Joo

AOA's Japanese Promotions Get A Little Weird

God damn it, Japan.