Saturday, October 31, 2015

Kpopalypse Nugu Alert Episode 14: Blast, Tina, Blissday

Hello and welcome to another edition of the officially most unpopular and nugu Kpopalypse series ever, Kpopalypse Nugu Alert!

siwonboat copy

It's time to scout out and reel in another fresh crop of nugus!  Read on and let's get the nugu fun started!

[MV Review] f(x) - 4 Walls

f(x) came back with 4 Walls and cemented itself as the group that routinely shits on every other group when it makes a comeback.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Best of the Worst: Oct. 29, 2015

Welcome ghouls and gals to this Halloween edition of Best of the Worst. OK, so it's just the same stuff as usual, but with your favorite idols dressed up

 ... that is ... if your favorite idols are from SM.

A photo posted by SMTOWN WONDERLAND 2015 (@smtown_wonderland) on

A photo posted by SMTOWN WONDERLAND 2015 (@smtown_wonderland) on

And if they aren't, well that's really a "you" problem, isn't it?

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Questions and answers about k-pop albums and why they mostly lick balls

K-pop albums.  I get so many fucking questions about k-pop and albums it's ridiculous, and I couldn't be fucked answering any of them really, but it seems that you all really want to know everything about albums so here I go with a post about albums where I try to compile all of your questions about albums into one big thing.  I hope you all people who want to know about albums appreciate this post and I never have to answer any more questions about this shit again.


Yes, I'm aware that this post will probably backfire and I'll now get more questions about this shit than ever before, plus a side-helping of a bunch of smartass cunts picking apart this post and telling me that I'm wrong about this or that, pointing out meaningless exceptions, snobbily telling me I'm condescending because I dare to make educational posts about things they already know, etc.  Oh well, read on and hopefully the people who strangely like my posts will be more entertained about this bullshit than I was when I wrote it and the rest of you haters will be able to restrain your natural urge to be a snobby elitist cuntosaurus.

f(x) to hold their own concert

Too bad it's in January. Why couldn't f(x) hold it next summer when I would have a chance to actually go see them?

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

How "Bae Bae" shoud have sounded

Not to long ago, kings of melancholic indie, MoT returned after an eight-year hiatus as a five-man band.

IMHO they are one of the best bands when it comes to psychedelic-melancholic music. I was really pleased to hear they are returning to the music scene since after their last album in 2007, one of the members, eAeon, released "two" solo albums and other one, Z.EE, focused on making soundtracks ... and all this time, there was gossip that they're still working on third album, but there was no credible info ...

Back to the topic ...

Since their comeback, they have played a gig at Grand Mint Festival, one of the biggest festivals for "indie" artists in Korea (this year: Zitten, 10cm, Kiha & the Faces [which includes this guy who is now fucking dating IU], Hyukoh, pippiband, The Solutions, Glen Check, the koxx, Epitone Project, Life and Time, Thornapple and others).

Apart from playing their old tracks and their comeback track, they played a glorious cover of "Bae Bae."

Monday, October 26, 2015

Two more reasons to stan Nicole

Nicole is doing great since leaving KARA, and here's proof (and at the same time, reasons to stan her).

Yoona Poses for Marie Claire

With Jessica out of the group, Yoona can finally enjoy being the best looking member in SNSD. These days I mainly watch SNSD's MVs just to look at Yoona, and it's a shame that I always need to mute the MVs.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

[UPDATE] BEG Comeback hype

BEG are preparing comeback and thanks to that we got a chance to witness their hotness in GQ

I never was a big fan of JeA, but those photos are unreal.

[MV Review] Twice - Ooh Ahh

The next nation's girl group has finally debuted, and Twice is already off to a strong start.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Best of the Worst: Oct. 23, 2015

Welcome to Best of the Worst: awkward photoshoot edition. Here, we have plenty of awkward photos for your viewing, um, I guess you'd call that "pleasure."

There's Dara, Mistress of the Night:

And "Unpretty Rapstar" Jessi taking a bite out of Dok2:

And Chorong, taking up the habit:

Surely, it's in response to this performance.

T-ara reminds us how hot they are

Everyone knows T-ara is too hot for Koreans to handle, so they spend most of their time robbing Chinese guys of their money ...

Lately, it seems the girls wanted to remind us how hot they are and how much Koreans have lost.

A photo posted by S*소야니🐰 (@melodysoyani) on

Sir! Yes, Sir! Let us pray and appreciate Soyeon's discrete cleavage since she was generous enough to show it to us!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Red Pill Qri

It's a clear day on the beach, with just you and Qri, there's not too many people around, the sun is shining brightly and Qri looks great in her correctly-proportioned striped top.  However, behind her sunglasses you can sense that all is not right with Qri.  You've been talking about the world of Korean entertainment all afternoon and as you speak, her attention wanders.  Something seems to be increasingly on her mind, and you get the feeling that Qri seems to want to tell you something profound to shake your preconceptions... but what could it be?


Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Conspiracy on Conspiracy (in) K-Pop 5: Reptilians Attack!

We all know the Illuminati are trying to create NWO, but there’s one thing the Illuminati aren’t aware of — that they are just mere puppets in the grand scheme of things. The whole world is run and controlled by reptilians, even the Illuminatis. That means there are reptilians in k-pop. I’m here to find them all for you.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Weekly Showdown: Armpit Hair VS. No Armpit Hair

I've already made it pretty clear that this thing isn't weekly, even though it's called "Weekly Showdown." You also already know by now that I'm a lying piece of shit, so that probably doesn't come off as a surprise. Do we have that out of the way? Good.

Now I am here to ask you all the most important non-music related question ever to exist. I am honestly curious as to what people think about this.

Armpit hair?

Or no armpit hair?

You know what I think? I have no fucking idea. If a male doesn't have armpit hair, it's considered "unmanly." If they do have armpit hair then ... eww armpit hair. It'd be better if they didn't have armpits at all. Maybe they could have like a giraffe or a butthole there instead, the possibilities are endless! Or that's my two cents anyway. What do you guys think?

Armpit Hair or No Armpit Hair?

Armpit Hair
No Armpit Hair
Please Specify:
quiz tool

(I left the "Other" option there just in case you're as weird as I am.)

Monday, October 19, 2015

Fapcam Madness 4: "Cha Cha"

Fapcams are back.

In this edition, I will focus on dance covers of the quite good song "Cha Cha" released by the Rainbow subgroup Rainbow Blaxx (aka the best Rainbow: Jaekyung, Woori, Seungah, and Hyunyoung)

So here's "original" version:

Sunday, October 18, 2015

Five Nights At Ailee's K-pop Vocal Fan Camp

As it's coming up to Halloween, here's a scary k-pop themed horror fanfiction for you all to enjoy!  Have fun reading and don't worry, Kpopalypse doesn't do jump scares!


Would You Creampie in Eunjung's Asshole?

This guy definitely would. I'm about to head to the airport in a little bit, so enjoy my latest MS Paint masterpiece. I'll be back next weekend.

Saturday, October 17, 2015

"So Crazy" A Soyeon Simulator Game Thing

Now you can fulfill your fantasy of eating Boram.
I made a text-based adventure game where you play as Soyeon and try to get to Music Core. I hope you like it! Play it here!

+It's Free!
+ Interact with T-ara!
+Multiple endings!

Fixed the link so you can play in your browser without the need to download anything.

Survey Results + Changes For The Future

Han Ji Min is hot and you can check out the rest of the pictures from her pictorial here.

The survey results are after the jump.

SNSD - You Think

AKF and I played rock-paper-scissors to see who would have to review this song. Guess who lost and has to write about this piece of shit song?

There is not one redeemable thing about this song. It would take a 100-page thesis to describe in excruciating detail why this song sucks so much, so I'll just write a fanfic from your point of view that is more tolerable than listening to this piece of shit.

Friday, October 16, 2015

Hyunyoung and Alex are Dating

Hyunyoung is ridiculously hot. I usually don't care to cover news like this, but then I thought "Let's make a poll" to see see what people would do to Hyunyoung.

Link to the poll.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Best of the Worst: Oct. 15, 2015

Here's a question for you: Has a kpop idol or group become so popular that you've started to dislike them because of it?

I've never experienced this urge to turn against something just because it's suddenly ubiquitous. I have seen plenty of groups rise to popularity only to make shitty songs. In such cases, I've started to dislike the group not because of its sudden popularity but because its new music is nothing like what drew me in the first place.

But apparently, hating on idols for getting lots of attention and media play is a thing.

Seolhyun demonstrates public perception of herself
in January versus what it is today.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

SJW Faggots Complaining About Twice's School Uniforms

Oh no, we can't hurt this land whale's feelings through our uniforms!
So I read two different articles here and here about how Twice's uniforms are problematic.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

[MV Review] Taeyeon - I

After SNSD's lackluster releases this year, I did not want more garbage from any of the members for the rest of the year. It's Taeyeon, so I was expecting a lifeless ballad from her, which would be in line with what she has mainly released in the past.

Monday, October 12, 2015

How to fall out of love with a K-pop idol

Emotionally detaching yourself from a k-pop idol might be something for which you require guidelines.

For this tutorial, you will need:


Let's begin. 

Friday, October 9, 2015

The September Honours List

Sorry for not being active this month, I had to prepare for university and spend the entire month listening to multiple songs multiple times to see if anything was better than Dumb Dumb. Let's get cracking.

Best song


Mind Your Own Business (Ailee)

Ailee has historically given me very little reason to dislike her. She has a consistently great output, looks great while doing it, and every minute she works slightly lowers the attention placed upon Jessi. I am positively thrilled that her new release does not leave me feeling betrayed. What I like most about 'Mind Your Own Business' is, even if it is not the case, it sounds like they got actual instruments rather than shitty MIDI approximations; this makes the song sound far more full and powerful and generally just fucking top. Even if Ailee had to sacrifice her voice to stay as trim as YMC wanted her to (linked to Allkpop for ironic purposes), her voice still sounds pretty damn great to me and does exactly what it needs to do: emote somewhat during the verses and absolutely blast the choruses out. Mine and Ailee's business relationship continues to be genial and I hope that it stays that way for many years to come, I don't want her to become someone who I can only look at with the volume muted.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Best of the Worst: Oct. 8, 2015

This week saw a lot of people making bold statements. We have a model telling IU who she should date, an actress insisting her wedding is "definitely not shotgun," and Hyejeong's shirt:


New Survey

Take it here.

I'm busy as shit, I'll look at the results and post them when I get back from Chicago.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

The Kpopalypse 2015 end of year caonima activity survey results!

Not going to post it again here because the post is freaking huge and I cbf editing it all twice, plus I don't want to create confusion by people thinking that my survey represents the entirety of AKF instead of just my own writing (and yes people still get confused by that!) but if you participated in the most recent Kpopalypse survey and you're curious you can click here for the results!

Or, if you don't give a flying shit, enjoy this video of Eunsol for no reason.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

24K's mini-album is everything iKON's should've been

Coincidentally, nugu group 24K recently just made a comeback, the same day as the official debut of iKON. The only thing that can be said about this is that 24K dropped the album the majority of fans wanted from iKON. So I'm going to do my best to raise awareness of this oh so poor little nugu group, i.e. bring you the album you deserve.

Sunday, October 4, 2015

The Only 'Slow Songs' I Actually Like

I'm not exactly the type of person who enjoys listening to ballads or R&B or that kinda bullshit (except for when I feel like falling asleep, anyway), but of course, there can be a few exceptions to that fact. Now, I'm not really sure what qualifies as a "slow song," but the definition I'm going by here is that it's simply ... not too fast ... or something.

It's worth noting that I don't listen to ballads that much (I usually just listen to them as a last resort when there isn't any new good music), so if I don't mention any of your favorites, I really don't give a crap, but you can go ahead and mention them in the comments below.

Anyway, here's the list.

Yay! Time to be all depressed and shit.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

iKON finally debuts

iKON, also known as Bobby & B.I + 5 vocals, has made its official debut with "debut half album" "Welcome Back." From what I can gather, this is a mini album released in October, while the full album will come out in November. Does this debut live up to the unfathomable hype that surrounded the poor group? Of course it doesn't. Such high standards were created by the die-hard fans, and thus, people are disappointed with this release. But that doesn't mean it's terrible; it's actually a solid release for a debut.

Friday, October 2, 2015

GOT7 drop music video; their stylists still hate them

GOT7 recently dropped the music video for "If You Do," a track from their latest mini album "Mad." Looking at the music video, it should seem there is no hope for the group fashion wise.

K-pop life lessons with Kpopalypse - Ailee edition

Hey everyone, it's Kpopalypse back again with more amazing life lessons to share with you lovely readers!  After the stunning success of my previous life lessons post, it seems that some k-pop fans are still struggling with life's many challenges.  Thankfully, Kpopalypse is here to help all you caonimas achieve and succeed at life, this time with a little bit of help from Ailee!


Thursday, October 1, 2015

Best of the Worst: Oct. 1, 2015

It's a jammed-packed edition of Best of the Worst this week. We've got an actor's frightening transformation, an idol trying to start shit with North Korea, and the return of Bad Boy Seungri.

Ayy mang

Weekly Showdown: 'Unpretty Rapstar' Special

This one goes out to all you "Unpretty Rapstar" fags out there.

As you all may know, some of the rappers from the first season have released music recently. Some had pretty solid releases, while others ... not so much (or, more precisely, not at all). So, I'm leaving the choice to you professionals to choose the best post-"Unpretty Rapstar" release so far.

Before we get to the showdown, let's reveal last week's results. Last week, I put Luhan's "That Good Good" against Tao's "T.A.O" for best solo debut. With 64% of the votes, the winner is *ba dum tiss* Luhan. He got dat good good.