AKF and I played rock-paper-scissors to see who would have to review this song. Guess who lost and has to write about this piece of shit song?
There is not one redeemable thing about this song. It would take a 100-page thesis to describe in excruciating detail why this song sucks so much, so I'll just write a fanfic from your point of view that is more tolerable than listening to this piece of shit.
Imagine you wake up one morning to see that your arms and legs and have tied to your bed. "Sweet, I've always wanted to try some S&M," you think. You look down and see one of your female friends spitting on your cock and jacking you off. You quickly get hard and want her to ride you. She takes off her shirt, revealing her gigantic tits. She gently brushes her nipples against the head of your dick.
She quickly stops and starts laughing. "Yeah, right!" she said while laughing as two of your male friends come in with a dead female corpse. She was starting to show signs of decay, with her jaw being dislocated and much of her hair falling out. You look down at your dick and wonder why you still have a boner. You start thinking of Suhyun from Akdong Musician stripping.
"Why the fuck do I still have wood?!" you exclaim as your friends are laughing. "We drugged you with Viagra," they say as they plop the corpse on the bed. Your two male friends squirt a whole tube of Astroglide into the corpse's pussy and then sits her on your dick. Your female friend starts fingering your butthole so that she can massage your prostate gland to make sure you jizz.
You start crying, as you want this shit to be over quickly. Your female friend shoves two of her fingers as far up your ass she she possibly can and you start jizzing. You're just glad that it's over - or so you thought. Your male friends pick the corpse up and sits the corpse on your face. As you keep crying, your jizz mixed with the Astroglide slowly drips out of her pussy onto your face.
You thought it couldn't get any worse, but your friends started playing SNSD's "You Think" on repeat. You look up and open your mouth wide, swallowing as much as the Astroglide and jizz as you can so that you can choke to death and end your misery. Being raped by a corpse was bad, but having to listen to this shit song more than once was enough to make you end your life.
You were right. I was doing fine when reading this post but then I made the mistake of clicking "play". Now I'm speed-dialling the porcelain telephone.
ReplyDeleteObviously intended as a dis track directed at Jessica. I haven't been able to get past the part where Sooyoung raps yet.
ReplyDeleteThere's no way you can really understand how bad this song is without comparing it to the demo version: https://youtu.be/ZxdtfzFWfEw
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ReplyDeleteReading this post madre me cum 8 times
ReplyDeletePeople think 8 is for each member but I say it was all for hyogre
DeleteTaeyeon's song is vastly superior to this garbage.
ReplyDeleteI do not care about the song at all, but the outfits make my dick really hard.
ReplyDeleteIt just occured to me that theres a lot of talk about prostates and pegging on this blog
ReplyDelete"Obviously intended as a dis track directed at Jessica" the only mention in the whole review of what it was about but right on
ReplyDelete