Friday, July 31, 2015

In Soviet Russia, T-ara's Teaser Watches You!

Credit goes to @enlargeyourkpop for the image.

T-ara's first teaser for "So Crazy" came out a little bit ago and after admiring Boram's 'Dad' socks I felt liking making a new desktop of Soyeon. That's when I noticed it:

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Best of the Worst: July 30, 2015

Welcome back, everyone. We've got quite the collection of kcrap today. There's an idol who kisses people when she's drunk, YG's confession and G-Dragon's sick ride.

Please take me for a ride, GD.

The Ultimate Kpop Music Awards Show 2015 [PART 3 - RESULTS]

Yo yo yo yo~ Whaddup. I'm your random over-charismatic, over-excited-for-no-reason MC here to host the finals of the most legendary Kpop Music Awards Show ever to exist, The Ultimate Kpop Music Awards Show! Judged and voted by the most professional, most experienced, and the smartest of music critics in the entire world, which makes it totally legit. This show aims at rewarding idols not for their popularity, or their personality, but purely for music quality. We (meaning I alone...) entrusted you, AKF readers, to this very important mission.

So don't fucking throw tomatoes at me if your oppars/noonas/unnies/waifus didn't win anything because I HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THESE RESULTS.

Alright, lets cut the crap. Here's your winners. But remember folks, they're all winners in the end! Right?

(Pff... Nah)

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

[MV Review] Hello Venus - I'm Ill

Sadly, there's no twerking this comeback. Thankfully, everything else makes up for it.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

HYSF Survey Results

I return from work, as my internship ended and my other job reduced my hours a little bit. I have a bit of a reprieve before starting graduate school.

Anyway, a lot of you guys took the survey. I created the survey to judge the responses of the readers because I do plan on writing more fics, and I need to see what content makes people uncomfortable.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Review: Beast "YeY"

Could there be a better visual metaphor for Beast's latest song, "YeY," than Hyunseung wallowing in a pile of garbage?


Saturday, July 25, 2015

Friday, July 24, 2015

Review: Primary "Don't Be Shy," featuring Choa and IRON

Is Primary's new song the sleeper hit of this summer?

G-Friend Comes Back With Me Gustas Tu, Still No Hints What the 'G' Stands For

My Spanish is real rusty but I think that means, "More ass shots of Shinb and Yerin."
G-Friend came back with a new M/V, Me Gustas Tu. I haven't really paid much attention to them except I know one of the members asked her PS for the 'Sica' and their asses are pretty decent. No, what I'm really concerned with is figuring out what that damn 'G' stands for. I've compiled a few possibilities.

How Did This "Thing" Debut In K-Pop?

This is Sorn from Cube's new girl group CLC. I am puzzled to how this monster debuted,

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Best of the Worst: July 23, 2015

Can you believe it? It's already been a week. And that means more shitty kpop news.

Today we've got a hip-hop star going (back) to prison, a questionable MV model choice, and poor Nine Muses.

The Ultimate Kpop Music Awards Show 2015 [PART 2 - NOMINEES]

It's finally time for the second part of UKMAS 2015! I'd first like to thank all the unfortunate souls that participated in the survey. Since a lot of you complained about it being too long and boring, if it makes you feel any better, it took me hours upon hours upon hours (upon hours, yup, that long) to read through all your answers and type them in. Many a times I wondered why I was doing this. What's in it for me, anyway? Oh well, good news is the torture and mind rape is all over now. It's all warm, fuzzy polls from here on out.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Someone Didn't Secure Their Baggage, It Bleeds Everywhere

Person 'A'. As in definitely not Hyun-A.
In you-can't-make-this-shit-up-news, someone's boobs bled everywhere.

Good Drama OSTs

Korean Drama OSTs get a bad rap...mainly because they deserve it. Most songs are bland Korean ballad #90237409281, and Korea is the last Asian country that should be making ballads. (If you like ballads, listen to the ones from China, Taiwan and Hong Kong.)

Fany Pack, Soyeon Friend and I are really the only ones here who like Korean dramas, and we wanted to highlight the good songs in Korean dramas, however rare they are.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

JYP Who's Your Mama Remix

And you expected the plastic pants picture, didn't you? Anyway, yesterday HYSF (okay, it was scheduled for yesterday) posted JYP's "Who's Your Mama?", so I figured it would be smart to schedule the remix for the song I found for today.

Monday, July 20, 2015

Red is the new Blue Results

Red is a current popular choice for idols all over. I rounded up the seven who are currently rocking the style and had you guys vote for who wears it best. The results will shock you ...

Is JYP an AKF Reader?

Again, JYP had to be a dick and release a song during the height of tax season, so I completely missed it and am writing about it in July.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Ecological Messages in K-Pop

As you may have guessed from the fact that one of the authors has a whale shark for an avatar, all of us at AKF care deeply about the environment and the preservation thereof. In between my daily acts of masturbation and gardening, I like to see how K-Pop represents my views, and I am pleased to say that a lot of K-Pop carries with it a deeply powerful ecological message. Today I wish to present to you a handful of the K-Pop videos that show a strong concern for the state of our earth and all creatures on it, especially whale sharks. I see no reason to beat around the bush any longer; let us begin.

Kpopalypse Nugu Alert Episode 11: Joe Rhee, Skolor, GAPP

Welcome to another edition of:


Kpopalypse is back,

Saturday, July 18, 2015

[MV Non Review] Infinite - Bad (360° ver.)

The following video is best viewed on a smartphone. Not sure what it does and doesn't work on, so just try different browsers and devices.

Stupid Things Fangirls Utter 82

This week's photo comes from @InfinitelySY (from Twitter):

Thank you for your submission!


The June Honours List

I know that it is halfway through July, but fuck you, I have been in Japan, representing a number of idols without their knowledge to get the JAV industry to express interest. Jooheon will be posing in sexy lingerie within the next month, all thanks to my hard work. Anyway, here's the shit that happened in June.

Friday, July 17, 2015

Are 9MUSES Jewish?

Oreo Monster here with more Instagram news. It was just another normal day. I was casually strolling down my Instagram feed, when suddenly...

Look familiar, anyone?

The real question is do Blackjacks care for Bom anymore?

With Bom being on hiatus, it seems A.Kor has been allowed some breathing room. With their subunit's debut early last month, it can be said that Blackjacks no longer feel the responsibility to defend Boms honour and bash Kemy anymore.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Best of the Worst: July 16, 2015

Halloween is still months away, but I saw something recently that frightened me to my very core. No, it wasn't the first of Hara's "Choco Chip Cookie" stages.

It was something much worse.

Boy group animal "plushies." (I can't even type that word without quotes, because it disgusts me so much.) Basically, they are the most obnoxious pieces of cutesy bullshit ever. And most of them don't even look anything like the idols they're portraying.

Do not scroll down if you're feeling suicidal. I don't want this post to be the thing that finally pushes you over the edge. That's what family's for.


Die quicker.

Die by that bear's hand.

Oh, fine, just kill me instead.

Tao is, apparently, 'Back'.

So, if you guys haven't heard about it yet, Tao recently updated his Instagram, declaring that he is 'back'. To do what exactly? God knows.

miss A - Only You

miss A made a comeback with "Only You" during late March, which is why I missed it because I was working insane hours during March. The first song I heard from miss A was "Hush," and I liked that song, but I had to wait nearly a year and a half for the group to make a comeback. I guess it took that long for Suzy to diet and exercise her way to a respectable weight.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Fapcam Madness 2: "CRAZY"

It's time to FAP!

The next song will be Crazy. I was always a fan of 4minute (Jiyoon <3) and Crazy is a really good song, so it was pure pleasure to "research" those fancams.

But first, let's look at the original (I chose Sohyun, one, because she has the best outfit/choreography)

... after going (again) through ~30 pages of YouTube results, watching 100+ fancams and fapping for God knows how many times, I have finally chosen the 10 best fancams ...

So, let's start!

HYSF Sex Survey for Females

Since women want equality (when it's convenient for them) and shit, here's your survey.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Red is the new blue

K-pop is not one to shy away from trends. It's common for the industry to take one thing that's mildly popular, turn it into a massively over-popular trend, then run it into the ground — ruining it forever. But until that happens, let us enjoy the new red hair trend and see who wears it best.
/remember me/

Sulli vs Hwayoung - it's a difference in determination levels

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

HYSF Sex Survey for Males

HYSF here. I have a survey for the males to answer. I have a shitload of hours to work the next couple of weeks, so I'll post the results at the end of the month.

Survey is here.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Conspiracy on Conspiracy (in) K-Pop 3: Illuminati are everywhere! Part 2

Freemasons have returned, and they are stronger than ever. With the latest k-pop releases, they are trying even harder to gather minions and brainwash innocent teens to fight for NWO!

Let’s see which k-pop releases you should avoid if you don’t want to become a gay, satan-worshiping, Illuminati slave!

[MV Review] Kara - Cupid

Kara came back in May with "Cupid," their first Korean track since "Mamma Mia" last year. With a sound that deviates from the typical Kara sound, how does it hold up?

Sunday, July 12, 2015

The Ultimate Kpop Music Awards Show 2015 [PART 1 - SURVEY]

Hello and Welcome to The Ultimate Kpop Music Awards Show (aka UKMAS), a show in which awards will be handed out... to music videos... and stuff... Yeah...

I don't even know why this picture is here. It's not like they're gonna win anything.

Friday, July 10, 2015

Haiku Reviews 2 - Kpopalypse has returned - prepare your anus

Very many folks / seemed to really quite enjoy / my Haiku reviews
As Kpopalypse / is always happy to please / all of his readers
I have now returned / with even more song reviews / in Haiku format
Sit back and enjoy / as I take a runny dump / on all of your faves

Best of the Worst: July 10, 2015

I'm a little late on this week's post. But hey, I never promised reliability, did I?

Kpop media's been extra obsessed with female idols and their hair this week, and I don't get it. In a time where Girl's Day flashed their goodies to the world, we get this:

You shitting me?

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Bad Fan Art IV: A New Nope

Bad Fan Art is back and this time not even your dramas are safe. 

Nine Muses: Hurt Locker

Nine Muses is back, fellas! And this summer just got hotter! I said it before and I'll say it again, but I'm a HUGE Namyu stan, so this was the only summer comeback I was actually anticipating. And boy they did not disappoint me. Nevermind the fact that the visuals are top notch, as per the usual with these gals, 'Hurt Locker' is an exceptionally catchy song. But even if the song sucked (*cough* *cough* Drama *cough* *cough*) there'll still be people watching it purely for fap purposes. So, safe to say, 9Muses absolutely SLAYED this comeback.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

"Sixteen" Ends; Twice is Born

JYP’s “Sixteen” program aired its final episode today and there has been a giant shitstorm surrounding the show since the MILK voting poll ended last night. Even if you’re not invested in the show and/or the group, bystanders will get a lot of enjoyment out of what happened today.

For those of you out of the loop, “Sixteen” was a survival program for JYP’s upcoming girl group Twice. It has already been five years since JYP has debuted a girl group (miss A). Out of the 16 girls, 7 were supposed to debut in the group. This show was to see which seven members was going to debut. The seven girls were placed in the “Major” group and the other nine were placed in the “Minor” group. There were missions to see which members would trade places, and usually at the end of a mission, someone from the Minor team would be eliminated.

(This is a long post and contains spoilers if you haven’t seen the last episode or read the spoilers yet.)

Monday, July 6, 2015

The K-pop vs Electro-Industrial EPILEPSY MV CHALLENGE

Kpopalypse returns with a new competition post just for you!  Whether it's about winning an award nobody cares about, getting to #1 on some pointless chart somewhere or coming at the top of some random dicksucking bullshit list made up by some nobodies, it's clear that K-pop fans love competitions, especially ones where they can get involved and vote as many times as they like!  So hopefully you'll also like this post, where Kpopalypse investigates which music genre has the most epilepsy-inducing music videos!


Friday, July 3, 2015

Best of the Worst: July 2, 2015

Despite all the girl group comebacks, great and not-so-great, this summer, kpop news is still somehow inundated with Big Bang bullshit. Namely, people upset at Big Bang.

Now, I understand if Taecyeon is upset with BB, since his group got publicly shat upon in favor of G-
Dragon and the Boyz.

But other BB-butthurt news bewilders me.

Stupid Things Fangirls Utter 81

This week's photo comes from Snachel:

Thursday, July 2, 2015

The Story of a Man who got Fucked Over after Listening to Big Bang's "Sober"

This song fucking blows, if you really need my opinion on the song. What's new from Big Bang? In before that faggot Unknown complains about how no one here thinks this song is good and somehow brings J-pop into the conversation.

Now let's get to the story.

[MV Review] Sistar - Shake It

Remember when Sistar used to release good songs? I know, it feels like it was a century ago.