Sunday, July 31, 2011

SMent is trying to learn how to troll (EDITED: 2nd teaser up!)

When I first applied for being a contributor to this site, I told Anti Kpop-Fangirl immediately that I did not know how to troll and that he would have to train me if I wanted to fit in and sit at the cool table with the rest of the authors. He responded with, "I chose you because your writing is much different than ours", which I think was his polite way of saying, "because (at the time) you are the second person to respond to our open auditions, I will take what I can get". So he hired a non-troll for a (then) trolling site.

Turns out, SMent and I are much similar than I thought. They also are trying to learn how to be a troll by screwing with fans. Now, my definition of a troll is still hazy and I am definitely not an expert, but these teasers for Mr. Simple was definitely unexpected from what we have seen thus far with the teaser pictures released:

Are you now, how they say, mind-fucked?

What was that? Especially the second one. It's like provocative art gone wrong...

I hope (in a twisted way) that for a performance, they wear their teaser outfits. Just once. And please be during the Gayo Daejun days.

Krystal is amazing

"Krystal is a bitch."

Maybe she is. However, the only people I have heard claiming this to be true are fangirls who don't know her and get all of their news from allkpop. They wrote an article a while back about her attitude towards her skating instructor. It claimed that she "rudely" stated that her trainer basically did not know what he was doing. I had not seen the article, I just saw a friend tweet something along the lines of "This is why I hate f(x), they're a group of rude bitches." They also said that their songs suck but that's irrelevant and a matter of preference. I read the article and then asked my friend if they had even watched the video. They refused to watch it and see that Krystal had actually said it very lightheartedly. They also refused to believe that the article had been biased and that Krystal had actually said that her trainer was not trained in couples skating, which made things difficult.

Sure, her trainer is older than her and in Korea it is not exactly proper for her to say anything against him. That doesn't excuse the tons of Americans I have seen, who go against their elders all of the time, bashing her just because they are too convinced by what everyone else says, without seeing things for themselves.

Krystal is a bitch and that's that. No one ever actually tries to get to know her a little through watching her on shows, everyone simply assumes that what they hear is true. They see her make one face that they do not like and she's instantly a rude bitch.

Krystal works her ass off. Have you seen her skate? She learned to do that in only a few months. That is not easy to do. She had to learn performances while promoting. She had to learn new dances and songs, practice them, then go off and learn a whole new skating routine. She has been getting some amazingly high scores considering she did not even know how to skate before she started on this show.

Krystal is a young girl who grew up in the entertainment industry. Maybe that has made her a little bitchy. However I have never actually seen anything that could prove this. All I see is a beautiful young girl who works hard and is not appreciated enough for all that she does. And no, saying that she is pretty and has a hot body is not what I mean by appreciating her.

Of course, you are entitled to your own opinion. This is just mine.

Brave Girls gives me second-hand embarrassment...

Last article of the night. Promise. 3 in a row is totally pushing it for me.
ANYWAYS! It's 4:00 a.m. where I'm at and I just finished watched tonight's Inkigayo performances.

I'm sure someone will write about 2NE1's "great" comeback but that's not what I'm gonna talk about. I'm gonna talk about Brave Girls new song "Easily".

WTF??! I JUST noticed no one has written about this trainwreck!
If you've never seen it, here's their comeback on Music Bank:

Lol. Yeah. You JUST saw that shit go down.

The best part is the black guy playing the saxaphone. He isn't even pressing buttons. Also, he's RANDOMLY standing in the back after his part is done. Awesome.

You know what makes me sad? That Brave Girls is created by a guy who gives all these hit songs to other idol groups but can't give HIS GROUP a good song for shit! Brave Girls explained that they kinda flopped (okay totally flopped) with their debut song but they hope this new song will give them some much needed attention.

Okay. I like them a little. Why? BECAUSE THEIR DEBUT SONG WAS GOOD! Not the "breaking ankles" one. Any kpop group that gives me 90s R&B nostaligia is good in my book (solid gold door-knocker earrings in the mv? you don't say!). It's sad that this comeback is going to end in shambles.

Better luck next time! Hopefully you'll have a better song by then.

Teen Top CAN sing and dance at the same damn time.

We showed a bad Teen Top performance, now here's a good performance.

And just so you know, this was their first DEBUT stage. Pretty good for a bunch of tweens.
For me, they're good enough (though I miss their "Clap" image over the "Don't Spray Perfume" stuff).
And if I hear girl groups yappin' about "Oppa!" all the time I don't mind boybands singing "Noona!" songs.
Just making this post for the Teen Top fans who wanted someone to back them up (btw, to those fans, why don't you just COMMENT on the articles???)

Saturday, July 30, 2011

If You Could Change Your Idol?

Okay, this is more of a question than an article (sorry Shin-B! totally not trying to steal your idea. I wouldn't diss a fellow brony like that :P).

I've noticed we haven't talked much lately about hot girls (we never really talk about hot guys...) so I put a little of that in this post.

So, I wanted to ask our readers, if you could change ONE THING about your favorite kpop idol what would it be? Let's consider ONLY physical traits ;).

Get ready for my LENGTHY entry:

For me, my favorite idol HANDS DOWN/NO COMPETITION is Yubin from the Wonder Girls. Why? I don't fucking know. It's gotten to the point were she can do no wrong in my eyes! She'd have to do seriously terrible shit for me give her the side-eye. Have you ever liked an idol so long that you don't remember or can't pin point exactly what it is you like about them? Yeah, that's where me and Yubin are at. The only absolutely horrible thing she's ever done for kpop is introduce the masses to fucking UEE!

BUT! If I could change one thing on her body, it would have to be her ass. She doesn't have one. I mean, not to be hatin', but most people in kpop don't have asses to begin with. But Yubin's is just...sad. She needs a bigger ass to match her awesome larger-than-a-normal-kpop-girl thighs! It's odd though, because in Korea her body was like this: 

not bad but still too flat for me. though she was cuter~.
But I guess nothing makes you fatter than living in the United States. And Yubin got the right places ;).

Please ignore the god-awful rendition of "Boom Boom Pow". Mute it.

So yeah, her ass is getting better for me, but it's still not quite there. So to demonstrate with a recent picture of Yubin (like a week old?). This is what I would change:

So, just in case you forgot the damn question during this unnecessarily long post,

What is ONE physical thing you would change on your favorite kpop idol?

'WTF is this fuckery?' of the week.

''TEEN TOP revealed their 1st mini-album and attracted netizens’ attentions with their title song.
Right after they revealed their song and lyrics (No More Perfume on You) on 26th July, we can see some sensible reactions from some noona fans. 
Lyrics from “No More Perfume on You” has some lines like ‘Noona’s fragrance is very very sweet. No one around me has that kind of fragrance from their body. Noona’s make-up is very very beautiful. It’s unbelievable, but that pretty noona is mine.’ and ‘Noona’s body is very very sexy. Everybody says it’s 10 points out of 10 points.” That part of the lyric receives some attention for their embarrassing confession to a noona.
Some noona netizens who likes younger-man posted some reactions like ‘Noona’s body is 0 points out of 10 points’, ‘A good fragrance and make-up is possible, but on body, I will work harder’, ‘I’m happy because I feel like the lyric is pointing me out’. And we can also see some denial reactions on perfume ‘I need to throw away all perfumes in my home’, ‘Because you told me not to spray my perfume, I guess I’ll spray some air freshener’, ‘I’m not spraying it because you said don’t spray it’, etc.''
Source : 
If shit like this pops up enough I might just make it a weekly feature.

Teen Top cannot sing and dance at the same time

If Niel and Chunji are Teen Top's best singers, then the rest of them must really suck.

Right off the bat Niel sounds out of tune. Before there's even anything to hinder his singing performance. No one else even sings until about two minutes in and he sounds terrible, whoever he is. The next guy misses his cue and can't even manage to sound like a decent singer. At least Niel manages to put a tiny bit of vibrato at the end of some of his notes that seem to dip in and out of being in tune.

The first rapper's voice mixed in with the backing track. The second rapper with red hair (I need to learn their names so I can criticize them properly) sounded... horrible. It almost sounded like he was trying to sound like G-Dragon.

Some of the choreography is kind of difficult and I understand that it can take a toll on their voices but they shouldn't sound this bad. They should either do a song with impressive vocals and weaker choreography or pick a song that they can sing easily and pair it with strong choreography. Their voices are bouncing with their bodies and it does not sound good. Like trying to sing while driving down a bumpy road.

They're throwing all of the pressure to sing well onto two members who have to do the dance and sing at the same time but they cannot seem to balance it. I kind of feel sorry for Niel having to sing that much. You have more members, train them to sing and use them.

Also, shouldn't the most attractive member be in the middle of the dance formation more often? Is that not some kind of K-pop rule? All I see is Niel with his blobfish face and Chunji with his stupid fucking winks and smiles that make me want to punch him in the face. He reminds me of... a moron.

Just gonna predict a couple of comments.
"They're young, they'll get better!"
If they're this terrible they should not have debuted yet. They should have trained until they could handle singing and dancing at the same time.

"You can't judge based on just one performance!"
Yes I can, shut up. This performance just sucked. Hard. The only other song I've heard any of them perform was a ballad from Chunji that sounded rather nice. He will make a fine solo artist when he's all grown up.

"lawl it's k-pop every group is like this get over it"
Just... don't even bother posting comments like that. If there weren't groups that sucked like this we wouldn't have much to write about.

Also I just happened to look on the video at a comment.
"chunji is so cute! He keeps winking. And he sounds a lot like KEY!"

...Teen Top fans are really young, aren't they?

Friday, July 29, 2011

How to be a Man

Crispi Crunch - "Thumbs Up" MV teaser

Holy balls.

I have no idea who this "hip hop" duo are, but I am so very interested now.

Apparently, Crispi Crunch have been around for a little while (initially as a trio), releasing digital singles here and there throughout this 2011 year.

Be careful. Crispi Crunch:

... are not to be confused with:

Crispy Crunch


Read this blasphemy.

JUST WHAT THE FUCK? Who the fuck would compare Hyogre to a goddess like Song Hye Kyo?! It's not fucking April Fools.

The only way Hyoyeon even resembles Song Hye Kyo is when Hyoyeon is heavily photoshopped. Aside from that, it's a disgrace to Song Hye Kyo to even have her name is the same sentence as Hyoyeon. That is the ultimate insult Song Hye Kyo could have.

Song Hye Kyo is regarded as one of the most beautiful women in South Korea. Hyoyeon has Hyorc and Hyogre for nicknames. If Hyoyeon resembled Song Hye Kyo at all, Hyoyeon wouldn't be considered the ugliest member in SNSD. In fact, she'd be the hottest one.

That's a low blow Soompi. Don't troll us SHK fans like that.

Lets get serious

“And before I get the typical "if you don't like it get off the site" talk (which sounds like something a kpop fan would say *cough*). As much as these writers have a right to express their opinions, so do I. I'm pointing out what I find silly just as they do with Kpop”

Im writing this in response (and yes I know this is my second ‘response post’ but bare with me) to the Anon who wrote the above comment on this post . I suggest that you read his/her comment in its entirety.

Based on my experience with the fandom that I bash on the most (with very good reason), I find that I've encountered more delusional or crazy or unreasonable people than not.

I wouldn't just make a generalization if it wasn't somewhat accurate. Yeah sure I haven't done a scientific study/survey of all the fans to determine the numbers but, I'm making this estimate based on the ones that I've encountered.

And from that I’ve derived that most YG stans, mind you I said MOST not ALL, are conceited, pompous, ill informed (in terms of music) little kids who don’t know much about anything but have the biggest opinions. And yes there is nothing wrong with having an opinion, just like we all here do; but rather, what you do with that opinion and how you try to bring it across that determines whether or not it’s an opinion worth listening to.

I think that maybe the message with this blog is sometimes lost in translation, with the occasional trolling from some of us, but I think that this blog is really necessary. Yeah sure it’s not life saving or world changing but it’s an outlet for those of us who are kpop fans and who really enjoy this industry, but feel stifled by those in the fandom, who think that their idols are the absolute best EVER and can NEVER be criticized, because if you criticize you aren’t a real fan. And that is not true.

A real fan should have the freedom to be critical of their idols or people they admire, if they feel that there is REAL reason to do so. I’ll use myself as an example, I’m a Block b fan a really big one at that, I’ve been stanning those kids well before their debut. They have just made their comeback with the “New Kids on the block” mini album and when I first heard “Tell Them” I was shocked and disappointed to say the least. I didn’t think that it was a good song; I thought it was childish, too cute for the Block B that Cho had promised. I thought that they were playing it too safe, following the mold, when they really didn’t need to. I was able to express that to fellow BBCs and didn’t really care if censure followed,but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

This is something that fans of the really big fandoms (Im an elf so I know) can’t freely do and if they do, then they are "not real fans", because Oppa and Unnie are just so perfect. If I don’t like something, I should be able to say so and not have fear of raging fangirls spamming me with hate mail and accusations.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

What the balls!?

Super Junior announces 5th album concept is ‘Ubersexual’



Sorry, repeat.


What does that even mean for a concept?!

SME representatives: "their new concept is ‘Ubersexual‘, meaning the boys are pursuing a more stylish and masculine image, but yet it’ll still be sexy and suave" "The teaser has a sensual concept to create more masculine stylish appearance and to let Super Junior members to let out their exotic charm."

To those of you who also blurted out "wtf", this is a definition I found:

... What the balls!?

If the previous teaser pictures released are the "embodiment of the perfect man" and are seriously considered masculine, suave, and sexy, then clearly I need a hardcore ELF to teach me again what a man is because maybe, just maybe, I am the delusional fangirl here thinking this is strange.

"Koreans should stay the hell out of Japan".

Recently, Japanese actor Sousuke Takaoka (yeah, I haven't heard of him either) made some negative remarks about dirty Kpop infiltrating Japan. And as a Korean, I can't just stand by and-

I actually agree. Why the fuck are Korean idols promoting in Japan (apart from fame, money, and eventual world domination...)? Okay fine, maybe there is actually plenty reason to go to Japan (especially for zero-Korean-fans Z:ea), but at the very least, the people of Japan have the right to be indignant. If Jpop was all the rage in Korea, more than a couple people would be committing Korean seppuku (to be fair, Koreans generally have a more massive hatred towards the Japanese {partially justified}). Seriously, I'm surprised incidents like this aren't more frequent; the Japanese are actually taking it well.

But as many have pointed out, the man is a public figure, and as Benjamin Parker Jesus once said, "With great power comes great responsibility". Maybe it's not right for a man of "great power"(read: hahahahahahahaha) to be speaking his fucking opinion, but so what? At least he has the balls to be honest.

If it is of any interest, he was subsequently kicked from his label. c:

Another SNSD member decides to rap

SNSD's worst rapping attempt ever.

Fany, please stick to singing.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Non-fat Piggy Dolls

Note: I am not as closed-minded as some people might like to believe (or so I would like to think). I understand that there are always two sides to a point, plus a grey area. This article is just my personal opinion. In no way am I asserting that everyone should agree or that I do not realize in reality that the general mindset is that skinny girls are more pleasing. I do not think I am that big of a narrow-minded dumbass. Thank you.

It is tragic that for the most part, talent gets shafted so often in the music industry. So frequently we see only hot girls with provocative dances (albeit half the time only showing off mediocre dancing skills) and subpar singing succeed greatly. But sadly, as soon as someone is not physically appealing, they are immediately criticized and swept under the rug as "untalented" or forced to get plastic surgery.

In the case of the Piggy Dolls, I honestly believe they are underrated greatly due to such a shallow mindset. I am not saying their voices are angelic (although I do think they have a nice, deeper tone), nor that their dancing is mind-blasting (during their Trend days, they did not really move a lot). But I think for a rookie group, they did have somewhat different (but the good kind) voices and loosely, a new sort of sass (especially the one in the sunglasses). In regards to their concept, they were really proud of who they were and not ashamed to be bigger in size, knowing full well they were advertising themselves to a target audience wanting sexy skinny girls. And what saddens me is that they felt like they had a shot with this idea, but was never given a second look.

Again, I am not saying that their songs were exactly enticing nor were they revolutionary (not going to lie, I did not enjoy Trend. Know Her was better, but definitely was not a song that was going to bring them to the top of the charts). Personally, I did not think they were given a good debut song, outfits, or even an exciting MV. But what I want to say is that I really think people should have been less critical of their look and concept and should have given their attention to their talent and music. Girls and boys who cannot sing worth *profanity* are put on gold pedestals for being "so very hot", yet three girls who work equally as hard but are not as aesthetically pleasing get bashed for trying to be themselves and role models.

A while back I read an article on AllKPop. It said:
Kim Min Sun (21), who weighs 90kg, began, “... I was born with the love of eating, which is how I got my current ‘U-line.’“ ... [t]he group’s combined weight totaled to 232kg, with Lee Ji Yeon (21) weighing at 72kg, and maknae Park Ji Eun (18) at 70kg.
Park Ji Eun continued, “When we first auditioned, there were three conditions. First, we had to be talented vocally. We also could not have had any plastic surgery done, and we had to weigh over 70kg.”
Unfortunately, due to the flop of their debut album, the conditions have changed drastically, as she went on to reveal, “... after our first album flopped, [our CEO] said that the fat concept won’t work anymore. He’s trying to change our image now by making us lose weight, but we don’t want to.”
When asked by MC
Kang Ho Dong whether they had any intentions of reaching a compromise with their agency, Kim Min Sun replied, “We, of course, thought about it. But let’s say that we lose weight and get plastic surgery. That doesn’t mean we will be popular. Kang Ho Dong is overweight, but also became the best MC. Why can’t overweight people achieve their dreams? The pain of being told to leave the room at auditions even before I opened my mouth to sing is still left in my heart. I want people that are overweight to not be so self-conscious and to be able to leave their house without shame. We want to become hope to them.”

But, they then made a comeback months later, each losing approximately 20kgs due to "late night dance practices". I call BS. They were forced to probably due to some sort of twisted threat of losing their contract. A representative announced *cough*trying to cover the company's ass*cough* that their weight loss was natural due to the rigorous training and was in "no way due to dieting". This is burdensome on the girls now as they currently appear as hypocrites. They are literally the average weight of many North Americans; so they could potentially change their name is Average Weight Dolls.

Really, sometimes I wish music was about music. Not everything should be about looks. But that is not reality now, is it. It is really too bad that a majority of girls will continue to be self-conscious about their looks and weight. Not even a group attempting to shed that narrow-minded idea (with the talent to back it up) could succeed, so what are the chances that other attempts in this Kpop industry could fare better?

2NE1: An emotional rollercoaster

Yes another goddamn 2ne1 article, but I couldn't help myself...I had to do it.

More angst then Twilight!


It's like a highschool story...

Finally, someone thought of the children!

So Rainbow was chosen to do the theme song for a children's cartoon called Zoobles. They recently held a press event/Zoobles stage show, and so naturally Rainbow was invited to come and sing the theme song for the kids.

Aw, how sweet... More after the break.

2NE1 Ugly Music Video

It's funny because it's true...

The song follows the pattern of their other recent's boring.

Anyways I didn't post this to hate on or even talk about the song or music video. I just wanted to post some of the comments I saw.

I love all the Dara comments.

I also love how every new 2ne1 song automatically becomes the best song eva

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

YG to Debut a Xerox Copy of SNSD?


I just love YG.


If you haven't heard yet, YG is planning to debut a group in 2012. The difference? It's said to be an "SNSD-like" group. His words, not mine. YG goes on to say the group will have that "YG flare~" (a.k.a. Teddy) but that the group won't be so much like 2NE1/Big Bang.

First off, LO-FUCKING-L. Can you imagine this shit? And YG also says he's basing the member choice off their talent, not looks. Well don't have an SNSD group! You'll have a bunch of fugly 2NE1-lookin' girls!

But of course, the best has to be comments. Though there are some rational ones, the majority are sad, sad comments:

  • OIL and WATER ...Don't MIX
  • i just hope they are better than snsd. i can't stand them
  • It's fine to do a group similar to SNSD, there are already some out there, but don't go right out and set this up to be a 'YG SNSD', because you put your group up for failure before they even debut, drawing instant comparisons that could hurt them. Plus, there will never be another SNSD. You're just asking for hate/fan backlash.
  • I'm not looking forward to this... This just isn't right.
  • another snsd? noooooooo....... The reason  love YG is because you created groups like 2ne1 and big bang, and now you gonna create those cute groups? nooo :(

I don't know if you can tell by the comments, but those are from both Sones and YG stans. BJs/VIPS are crying "NO! No cute stuff! YG is so amazingly original and epic!" and Sones are screaming "There is only ONE SNSD! No one will ever come CLOSE!"

As for me? I'm just laughing at all of them.

GP Basic wants to come to America to "study abroad" ?

Fuck no, we don't want them here either.

Japanese rapping in Beast's Fiction...



Seriously, not fucking kidding.

What the fuck.

I'll share some rappers who can actually rap in Japanese.

Ah, much better and much kinder to my ears.

So Hara sings a song, and /it's actually OK/

I'm definitely not the only one who saw the headlines and went "well shit, this won't end well." The poor girl was the laughing stock of kpop the last time she tried to sing alone and live, and has pretty much been shitted on in every one of those "Top 10 [INSERT NEGATIVE TITLE]" lists. I clicked the play button apprehensively (and I'm really glad it wasn't some hotassmess autotuned dance track), and you know what, the song was fine.

So, good for Hara.

Aaaaaand the sanity stops.

Fan comments can essentially be divided into the following categories:

1. Oh it sounds ok! (<-me)
2. Holy Dante this is the 9th circle of Hell (usually posted with a troll username related to 2NE1)
3. Do you think singing, dancing, and shaking your ass at the same time is easy?!?! DO YOU!??! Can you sing better than her because I bet you SUCK! (classic DIC move: Dodge, Insult, Compare)
3. The best song ever, voice of a fucking GODDESS (<-you need new music)

Favorite comment hands down was "I wonder how much autotune has been used in the recording of this song..."

BWAHAHAHAHA if technology could fix Hara's voice, DSP would've done it decades ago if they could afford it. Plus this is an acoustic version dumbtwit.

[Japanese] m-flo is coming back

I'm putting a page break at the very beginning because I don't want this to stretch the homepage.

BlowJobs go apeshit for 2NE1 "Ugly" audio teaser (kill me now!!)

While blowjobs are flailing their arms in excitement, Im trying my hardest not to be indifferent to this "ORIGINAL" group's latest release. To be quite fucking honest and it pains me to say this but, Im really bored with this group.

Its either they do the "we're the best,we are hot fire,so go away,cos cant no body hold us down" badass females thing or they're doing the "you broke up with me and now it hurts,I love you but I'm lonely eh eh eh eh,you think I'm ugly,I think I'm ugly eh eh eh" self-pitying shit.
And it is boring as fucking fuck!

BJ ovaries are being over stimulated. Here are some of their unbiased and completely objective thoughts.

this mini album must be the most diverse album in terms of genre.
2NE1's showing why S. Korea should be proud to have them.
Japan better prepare for the debut of these girls, as well as the American industry.
Seriously, what other group can do what these girls can do?
Trot (Minzy), Ballad, Reggae, HipHop, Pop, Eletropop and now, Rock?

Did anyone else think of Bom when they read this? She definitely stepped against the "ridiculous demands of beauty" LOL.

Cant wait till the MV comes out, this shit is going to be indescribable.
I will admit that the lyrics seem promising, but I'm still bored,ed ed ed ed.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Teen Top releases new MV

I'm not much of a Teen Top fan since they're all so young and being a "pedo noona" isn't on my to do list... however the song is kind of nice. It's catchy but the music video...

I don't like the meaning behind it and I don't like that Chunji is all "LAWL BITCH I'M CHEATING ON YOU HAHAHA LOOK AT ME I'M CUTE" through the whole video. In fact, they all seem pretty happy about the fact that they've learned how to use their dicks and they could be running around getting STD's by sleeping around. And Chunji gave his girlfriend the same perfume that the "noona" he's cheating with uses. Bold little fucker.

And aren't all of the members like sixteen? How are they in a club? Did they let a pervy bouncer touch their no no spots on the way in?

Niel continues to look like a blobfish.

He also wears that shirt that every K-Pop idol and their mother seems to own

He also seems to be the only one singing. I admittedly only know the faces of Niel and Chunji, I only know a couple other names and I can't recognize voices but it seems like Niel and Chunji are the only ones even in this video.

Like the song, dislike the meaning, shaking my head at the children in the music video. Over all I guess it's not too bad.

The fragile art of 'selca' (who is the best?)

Being true to the internet age, 'selcas' (a marriage between "self" & "camera") have become a popular method for idols to connect with their fans (think: Dara). There are many factors involved, such as lighting, angle, and other such fuckery, but the end goal is to a) look gorgeous, or b) look interesting. 'a' was of course the original intent, and 'b' was (of course), a twisted result of Kpop's cruel and unusual success rule (you have to be super-hot, super-talented, or super-gay to make it).

Amongst idols that suck ass at taking selcas (think: Dara {again}), is perhaps the worst. Instead of looking 'glamorous' (which is the preferred adjective when it comes to the Canadian, due to her saggy breasts), she manages to look creepy and soulless in every fucking selca she takes. She needs to take lessons from.....

... Hyomin, my choice of 'the-idol-that-takes-the-best-motherfucking-selcas'. Girl is gorgeous, and she knows how to accentuate her beauty by using cute expressions, feet, and various other techniques (you can learn them all from resident ulzzang Ra's al Ghul for a mere blue flower!).

Feel free to comment on who you think is 'the-idol-that-takes-the-best-motherfucking-selcas'.

Super Junior reveals Yesung’s teaser photo

Being that apparently here at AKF we are the new Super Junior, most of us were given the option of choosing who we wanted to be as our equivalent. If I remember correctly, Anti Kpop-Fangirl is Leeteuk, davidfresh is Shindong, and Suckmydee is Siwon.

Personally, I wanted Eunhyuk. But someone *cough* mynameisnotsuzy *cough cough* else also wanted to be the wonderful boy he is, so I became my second pick, Yesung. Which is still just as awesome being that he has a beautiful and angelic voice and, for the most part, a cute baby face.

But then I saw this teaser photo and never have I been so embarrassed. I do not believe at any point is a pink leopard print shirt ever in order for any man. And what poor roadkill did SM Entertainment adorn your neck with? It matches perfectly with your sleezy gold chains, I may add. Secretly though I do kind of like that hat (if it were maybe a different colour). BUTIDIDN'TSAYTHAT.

Some choice comments about this teaser photo include:

- everyone is ruining my bias list everytime they unveil their imageteaser! and now its yesung oppa's turn! it was such a FBULOUS teaser. perfect all the way ^^
Perfect? Wtf. If that is your definition of perfection, then I sure as hell do not want to see what looks terrible to you.

- Whaaa~ Yesung looks so...manly! :O This concept is making me really happy so far! :D
... Manly? Really? Is that the only adjective you could think of? Because that was not on my list of words to describe this crime...

Words cannot express how I feel right now. I think I'm having a pseudo-identity crisis. What the balls is wrong with so many of you delusional ELFs...?


After School - BANG! (Japanese Version) [PV]

Words cannot express how sad I am that After School chose BANG! for their Japanese debut. Why not Because of You or even Shampoo? Tap dancing would have been equally as awesome as drumming. Or if they really wanted to keep to their original Pussy Cat Dolls concept, AH! would have been nice.

But clearly, they need Bekah more than they thought. Pledis, you dumbass. Kahi's rapping is usually fine (or even borderline good). And I love Kahi so damn much, but this... this was just wrong. Please do not try to rap in English or Japanese anymore. Ever. That goes to you too, Lizzy.

But I must admit, they were as sexy as ever. Nana, why are you so beautiful? They really made the girls look gorgeous, so I will give them that. The entire video was more like an elongated photoshoot. In motion.

Overall the music video was not bad per se. I mean, there was not much going on much like the Korean version, so there was not any major losses. But that also means there is not much to pick on. The main difference is that the Korean version had children inappropriately showing their stomachs and had the bridge filmed on a soccer field. The Japanese PV on the other hand was all done with dancing and drumming in their various outfits (of the same thing in just different colours [that's right. I spell colours with a U because that's how it's done in Canada). Music wise, they changed the instrumentals ever so slightly for the Japanese version and (thankfully) took out the atrocious Engrish as the beginning. The song did not sound terrible in Japanese as most translated-from-Korean songs do, and they did not throw in insane amounts of English to substitute for an inability to pronounce Japanese (as though their English pronunciation was any better). I'm looking at you Big Bang and 2NE1.

By far my favourite part of this entire PV though was when they changed JungAh's koom koom koom to dong dong dong.

Because everything is better with a dong inside.

AS Red's "In The Night Sky" MV drops.

AS Red has finally given us their MV after already performing twice on music programs (even though AS Blue released their MV days ago).

The music video is pretty good. I like the feel of it. Their outfits and the filming location is like this New Mexico/Arizona outskirts meets Coyote Ugly. That description sounds horrible, but's it's not too shabby. It's a very typical music video in the sense that there is random dancing and partying, but what made me laugh is that at around 2:42 everyone is dancing around a GIANT FIRE PIT and Nana is like "You know what would go great with this? GASOLINE, BITCHES!". So Nana follows her impressive idea and douses the entire crowd in to the giant fire. Yeah. Some people say it was water (which i'm sure it was when filming), but it came out of a damn gas station pump. I think they were going for a "gasoline" look.

AS Red seems to get lower "likes" and higher "dislikes" than AS Blue when they perfrom but the "likes" on AS Red's MV were suprsingly high. No one bitched about being "too sexy".
Some of the comments from their Youtube video:
  • "Ok now every single person that said this wasn't sexy enough can go suck it. You don't need an obvious sexy song to be sexy"
  • 'My god, Jungah, when did you get so fierce?? "
  • "If YaYaYa was done right"
One of the big things i noticed though, is the contrast in production value between AS Red and AS Blue.....AS Blue got jipped.

Also, I leave you with a gif of the most amazingly talented and GORGEOUS girl with a face of many emotions:

Don't you agree Nana, Kahi, and Jung Ah?

Question of the Week 4

Alright kiddies! As promised, today is Monday once again and now that I'm back in Canada with constant internet, here is the latest QotW.

If you could replace OR be an additional member to any idol/duo/group of your choice, which group would it be and why?

Yes, that means: boys, you can join any girl group you like as yourself. And girls, you can be a member of any effeminate boy group of your choosing (as I'm sure you would fit in fine as a real woman).

SME outs Super Junior:Ryeowook's teaser Pic

What in fuck's name is SM trying to do?
I know AKF said we wouldn't be doing articles for every teaser, but I feel this one deserves a mention because.....

For the first time ever, in my stanning SJ, I want to do naughty things to Wookie. I think he looks really good, from the waist up at least.

Ryeowook let's bone ;)

But then you scroll down to find this!!
"Hey errbody, the gay pride parade is here, feathers and all bitches!!!" :D

SME, what is this? TVXQ goes away for over 2 years and they come back looking fine as hell and SJ comes back looking like a bunch of homothugs. THE FUCK?
This song better be fucking good or it's yo ass ol' man!!!! Yes, that's a threat, come at me mofo!!!

B2ST think they're better than MBLAQ.

In terms of popularity anyways, and of course, only when they're promoting (or so they say).

Back in '09 when both groups debuted, there was a certain amount of rivalry and "friendly" competition between the two. Fast forward 2 years to the present, and it's obvious who hit the jackpot: B2ST. Through a constant stream of similar-sounding, but admittedly catchy hit songs, they have become (what Charles would call) a "top tier group", with a larger Daum cafe than mother-fucking-SHINee (who admittedly have 0 public awareness in Korea). On the other hand, MBLAQ has a solid fanbase, sure, but in the grander scheme of things, they're just 'those dudes' that linger in the background. Even rookie groups such as Block B are already making more noise.

Fangirls are raging about B2ST being out of line, rude, and disrespectful. I find that they were simply being brutally honest (think: Key). No doubt both groups are aware of + acknowledge the fact that B2ST is more popular; it isn't some fucking secret. I suppose this is a more legit issue to get frustrated over (as opposed to some of the ridiculous shit fangirls fight over), but the fact remains, y'all need to get that fuzzy shit out of your asses and relax.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Jay Park wants a piece of this

First you were stanning Jessica, and now this.

I praise you, Jay, for your fine taste in women.

T-ara wins Inkigayo Mutizen, MBLAQ doesn't

So T-ara won on Inkigayo today and A+ apparently didn't think they deserved it and were butthurt MBLAQ didn't win.


I just think it's fucking stupid when I see comments talking about how T-ara, or any group for that matter, doesn't deserve to win. I didn't make it in time to screenshot all the bashing comments, but I hate it when people say shit like "It's unfair because *insert losing idols name* works harder."

Saturday, July 23, 2011


So now that we have like a bajillion + 9001 authors, I'm thinking of trying something new. For some reason (cough.Shin-B.cough) we've been getting a lot more interactive with our readers. Now I want this article to be a little more interactive(?) -for lack of better word- with our authors, particularly our newer ones. I was thinking this article could be a way for the readers to get to know each author better (and for the authors to get to know each other as well...). Don't feel obligated to participate, but if there are any authors on the site that would like to put in their 2 cents that would be cool. Just edit the article and add in your favorite bands and the ones you sincerely wish you could obliterate, and what fangirls do that annoy you the most (or if you can't choose, like me, pick something that pissed you off recently lol). Feel free to add more if you like.

Zico Loses His Shiteous Dreads.

This video is like a week old, but I doubt many of you follow Block B so fucking deal with it. Basically, the video shows Zico FINALLY getting rid of those horrid dreads. But the way he talks about them...

Now. I know it was said in a joking manner. But even on his twitter and in other videos: he seriously loved those nasty ass dreads. It's a bit shocking to me. But whatever floats his boat I guess (didn't seem like he cared about the hate).
But as for the fans (BBCs), do not sit there and LIE that you're NOT happy to see those things get cut the fuck off! You tolerate stupid shit like that, you don't come to love it!
I just hope in the future, for the sake of my eyes, no other kpop idol decides to get dreads. Think about it. Do you know of ANYONE in kpop that would look good in them?

That's what I thought.


Fuck. I know "fame comes at a price", but I actually find myself pitying these 'boys' (now questionable, after what they've endured). Seriously. I don't want to be melodramatic, but if I were in their shoes, I'd be on all sorts of medication and struggling to find my sexual identity. How do you convince someone with any sort of self-esteem to dance to this shit? Poor things.

On the other hand, as much as I'd like to slap Lizzy for being annoying, I'd like to fuck her just as hard. I won't lie, she is cute, and after seeing her in a bikini, I've switched sides. Anyways. What happened to the 'talent' E-Young was supposed to have so much of? Yeah. That's what I thought. She's merely average, but fortunately doesn't make the group worse, so I'll give her a pass.

And to anybody protecting 'Wonder Boy', saying that it is in no way similar to Fin.k.l's 'Forever Love': don't be delusional. The style, the concept, the fucking pinky move; it's all there. Luckily, A.S Blue pulls it off quite nicely, and I, for one, enjoy the throwback to (imo) a better time. Shut the fuck up, and be glad that they have a better produced song than A.S. Red.

SNSD performs Mr. Taxi in Korean


Sexy girls in kpop: I NEEDZ MOARRR!!

It's like a fierce battle between Uee's empty, cold, android yin and Nana's electric, white-hot, nubile yang. Kahi and Jungah are there to keep you grounded as your reactions swing back and forth between OMG NANA YES! and WTF IS THAT EVEN HUMAN?!

Epik High vs. Cho PD

The quality of music from the latter is noticeably worse: no shit. But I'm actually here to compare their respective groups (more correctly, the groups that they support {okay fine, Epik High barely plays a fucking role}).

Infinite recently had their comeback (which for some reason, I had no idea about 'till now), and like their pop masterpiece (-is not delusional-) 'Before The Dawn', the new song 'Be Mine', borders on epic insanity and is engaging as fuck. The latter ain't as good, but come on, it's hard to live up to BTD. And no, I'm not ignoring the fruity, sexually questionable concepts that they've pulled a couple of times, but I'm willing to overlook it when they release this kinda music.

And then, we have Block B and their 'Tell Them'. I'm not going to bother linking a video. Those of you that have watched it know how visually painful the outfits + choreography are (and that brain controlling ... creature on Zico's head); those of you that haven't, you don't need to watch it: trust me. The song isn't an awkward wreck like 'Freeze', but hip-hop inspired pop needs to die, preferably, melted slowly on a roast (with Kwanghee, don't forget Kwanghee gais!).

Anyways, since this originally started as a Infinite review, let me just say that the music video is pretty artsy (meaning vague flashes + no real plot), but I still preferred it a thousand times over to abomination that was Tell Them (click for article).

That skinny twig that looks like a girl kinda irks me though.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Sexuality in kpop: Won't anyone think of the children?

As the 아저씨 of this blog I understand that I may be a bit more conservative than the rest, so normally I try to understand that times are changing and the new generation is more free in expressing their sexuality. However, this new song from After School Red has completely crossed the line.

Listen to this filth and then read my censure after the break.

Well this is interesting.

Redundant? Maybe. But do I care? Nah.


I'd like to welcome you guys (somewhat belatedly) to the blog. I realize that a few of you have been devoted readers in the past (in which case you'll know that I'm still pretty new to the site as well) so you already have an idea of how everything rolls. For those of you (and I actually think it's ALL of you) that have already written their debut articles, congratulations! Forgive my laziness; I didn't feel like searching through pages of articles to find everyone's first one and comment on each one individually.

My email is on my profile, I'm hoping that all the authors, both older and newer, will have everyone else's email so we won't have to communicate solely through comments.

Now back to my article-writing hiatus.

The truth about YG stans: DELUSIONAL

I'm writing this in response to Lickmypunani's post about SM stanners, and answering the request of many in that article for a "truth about YG stanners" post. The general consensus is that SM stanners are crazy and I agree, those bitches are, but arguably the most delusional fans, not just in kpop but in all the world, yes THE WORLD are YG Stans.

I know what some will think or say. "You’re just a hater" or "you're pressed" or "you're an anti."

Hater I am not.

Pressed? Maybe, but it's not my fault, they did this to me.

YG anti? You bet yo ass.

This post is necessary. We need to expose this group and then after a little lynching perhaps, ok maybe not.

Now with all of that said, I will try my hardest to use all that I learned in journalism school, and not give just my opinion about YG stans but give you guys evidence of their delusions. COLD HARD FACTS!

YG stans have this warped view of YG IDOLS and of the “talent” they possess. Lawd knows there is nothing a YG stan enjoys more then to hype up their bias, NOTHING. And of course one would argue that every fan does this, but YG stans take it to another level.

As proof I’d like to call in 2NE1BLAQBANG as my first witness (taken from akp YG will tackle the American market “within the next year or two” )

See people, I'm not crazy, and you know what makes this even scarier is that they actually believe THIS BULLSHIT!!

This poor hopeless sod lives his/her life thinking like this. I actually feel sorry for them, because this is a clear sign of brain damage. No one of sound mind would even think of saying, “GD is a genius at producing and making music as well as writing lyrics. HIS MUSIC IS DEFINITELY MEANINGFUL AND AMERICA NEEDS RAPPERS (this lil fucker called him a rapper, FUCK!!!!) OR A GROUP WHO MAKES MEANINGFUL SONGS.This shit is as offensive as them calling Big Bang hip hop.

How about this?

“Let’s face it, America has a lot of potential for music, but the ones that get released and become famous are people with LITTLE OR NO TALENT AND OVERUSE AUTOTUNE”.
Oh, the fucking irony. Yes, bash the very industry and country that influences your fucktard idols. This Gay-Dragon you praise so much is majorly influenced by America: the music, the dancing and the pseudo flamboyance. Kanye rip-off anyone? Too bad he doesn’t have the talent to match. On the irony point, I find YG stans have no sense of it at all. All the shit they spew is steeped with irony but they don't see it. *shrugs*

Another great example.

I wouldn't have such a problem with GD or the shit he makes if people didn’t act like it was revolutionary and new. His “music making” ability is mediocre and really shitty at times. Have you heard what that “genius” produces? Same repetitive fast paced beats on every damn song. Don’t believe me? Go have a listen (one after the other) to “Haru Haru,” “Lies,” “Tonight,” and the shittiest song he has ever written “Love Song.” Fucking hell, I hate that song. They all sound the same. “Cafe” is one of the few decent songs he’s written; he almost ruined it by trying to be the Asian Maxwell. Fuck outta here.

It’s scary to know that no one else gets their balls tickled and sucked half as much as GD, just ask Myungsoo when he comes up for air. Bish is sucking GD’s dick all day, err’ day.

Another thing YG stans are incapable of doing is spazzing about their idols without bringing down other idols. They will shit all over other idols saying shit like “Big Bang writes their own music unlike your oppa who sucks.” Yeah they do, but it’s not Grammy winning material. “YG makes real music, unlike your >other company mainly SM<” or my personal favourite “YG has artist and not Idols, yes Bigbang and 2ne1 are artist, they are originals even adidas says so.”

Our groups set trends and they lead,
Haters are on us like fleas
you hate us coz we cocky,
but we don't like you either
......we're YG stans
......they're cheerleaders~

Yeah sure, unicorns and leprechauns exist.

“YG family is better in every way, they are not fake, they have real personalities unlike your idols,fake bitches”

"Real" and "YG" shouldnt be in the same sentence. Grandma Park Bom anyone?

Plastic fa-freakin-tastic

This is accurate.

Or even better.
credits : iyou.

I would say something about Dara fans but we have posts about Dara's cray cray fans so I won't waste your time.

I find CL fans aren't as bad, except for the tard who said "CL is the best girl rapper that will ever enter the kpop industry."

Yg stans don’t suck this fuckery out of their thumbs, they get it from that creep and douche nozzle, Yang Hyun Suk.

“The reason YG Entertainment has been so passive with international advancements was because we spent a lot of time on the production of music. We wanted to take the music we were doing in Korea over to the Japanese and European market.”

That fucker brown-nosing himself. They don’t quit.

I know I look pressed, but the thing is, I used to like Big Bang in the beginning when I first got into K-pop. I even spazzed with the fans when GD& TOP released their album. I was genuinely excited and I kinda stan 2NE1, but now I see these assholes for what they really are. A bunch of retarded little fangirls and boys who don’t know jack shit about music but pretend they do, just because they have GD’s album on replay. If I were to ask them who Afrika Bambaataa is, they wouldn’t know. Who MC Lyte is, who Erykah Badu is, who Mos Def is? They wouldn’t know, but they have the gall to brand YG IDOLS as artists; this shit, more than anything else, really pisses me off.

And thus ends my rant. If it’s not long enough for you, I'm sorry but I'm kinda buzzed from the wine I was drinking while writing this. If it's too long, I'm sorry I'm kinda buzzed from the wine I was drinking while writing this. If you’re a YG stan and hate this post, then my job is done, the good lawd can come and take me home. Amen.

Oh and hi! I'm Liley the Hangeng of this blog. No, more like Kyuhyun.