[MV Review] EXO - "Lucky One"

Been about a year since EXO's last comeback. While "Call Me Baby" was a decent song the album had much better songs, however this comeback's songs are their best since "Overdose", proving their full potential.

Best of the Worst: Nov. 19, 2015

I was sitting alone in my room today, like I often do, meticulously Photoshopping my favorite Exo members into "Star Wars" scenes, when I thought to myself: "There's got to be an easier way for a girl to fulfill her Exo/'Star Wars' fetish."

Thankfully, SM and Disney — in an unholy collaboration for the ages — recently gifted us with this not-at-all-creepy photoshoot:

This pic alone is enough to supply
my prolific fanfic writing for the next decade.

Just think of all the role playing ...

and lightsaber crossing ...

The Male Idols You Wanted More Of

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Project Luhan part 3: The Emancipation Of Sasaeng #1064

Okay, so it took me longer than an After School comeback, but here's the third and absolutely definitely final chapter of Project Luhan!  The third part won't make any sense if you're not familiar with the first two parts, so for those new to this story or who need a refresher, click on the following links to catch up to this point in the story:

Part 1: Sasaeng Control: Project Luhan

Part 2: The Only Good Sasaeng...

For the rest of you, read on!

EXO's Love Me Right - MV Breakdown

Nah, that title was a complete troll. I may not know much, but I do know that one would have to know what the actual fuck is going on in a music video to be able to break it down, in which case I don't. If I had an observation though, I'd say SM tried to pull a T-ARA with this shit.

I will, however, explain what SM was trying to achieve in this music video - which, in its own way, is pretty fucking genius but pretty fucking dumb at the same time.

Pls Buy Our T-Shirts

Hey EXO-Ls!

I've been fooling around with a couple of EXO T-shirt designs (because you can never have enough EXO T-shirts, right?? LOL :D) and I think I've REALLY outdone myself this time!!

KRIS'S DICK SPOTTED

I AIN'T EVEN GOTTA WRITE SHIT

Best of the Worst: March 5, 2015

Yewon earned a new title this week: Nation's Punching Bag.

Please take out your minor frustrations on me
and then blame me for it.

No, really, I want you to scream at me.

Zaku's Top 20 Songs of 2014 (#10-1)

Now that you've had the time to digest my #20 through #11 picks for top songs of 2014, I'm back with the rest of the controversial opinions you'll accuse me of shit taste for!!

As a reminder, here are the criteria for the works selected:

CRITERIA:

• Release from Jan. 1 - Dec. 25
• Korean releases only (sorry Japan)
• all tracks are fair game (meaning not only title tracks)
• no double dipping -- a group can only appear once 

Line-up changes and k-pop in 2014 - what's the big deal?

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11 written-while-taking-a-shit click-bait k-pop articles written in the last 72 hours

One of the favourite criticisms directed at my own blog writing is that it's somehow "click-bait".  Here I am spending hours of my time each week, pouring my heart and soul into articles for your completely free entertainment and enjoyment, with no hidden catches or ruses, and of course entitled me-generation cuntfaces still have to complain that I'm swindling them somehow.  Of course, I only ever get this criticism from people who also don't happen to like my writing generally speaking, now isn't that interesting.

Seeing as how there's so much confusion over what apparently constitutes "click-bait", I thought it was time that I showed my readers some examples of what I think click-bait is.

MNet is blurring out Kris' Face

You won't BELIEVE who it is!

On a recent episode of MNet's Exo File fans were quick to notice in one segment that Kris' face was blurred out. No doubt to shield citizens from that hideous visage and totally not because of recent legal troubles and because since his legal contract with SM blah blah blah. This isn't the first time something like this has happened, during Daniel of Dalmatian's drug scandal he was also shown blurred out in TV segments.

Moments later.

A lot of fans are taking it personally however. I can't blame them, MNet/the rest of the world is out to get them.

A Hypothetical Scenario in which Exo Fandom causes the collapse of Civilization/ The World

This post is not meant to scare you, rather to serve as a warning. 

EXO bullied Kris out of the group: the ironclad evidence*

Like everybody else who follows k-pop, I've been reading about Kris leaving EXO, after all it's been pretty fucking impossible to avoid.  In fact it's even interrupted my blogging schedule - I had a completely different blog about 80% completed and then this fucking shit turned up and crashed the blogging party, demanding that I write about it, simply because I know people will not stop asking me about this stuff if I don't write about it.

While I honestly have no major emotions about EXO in any particular direction (other than at least "Overdose" is better than "Growl"), it's been vaguely interesting to watch the reaction to their line-up situation in Korea.   Many people are calling Kris lazy and sticking up for the rest of the group... but a thought occurred to me: if it were a female group, this would never happen.  Whether it's T-ara, Girl's Day, 5Dolls, miss A, Sistar, Jennie Kim, SNSD, Crayon Pop... it doesn't matter which group it is, when a member is having trouble, that member is an angel and the rest must therefore be evil bullies.  Because anonymous people on the Internet said so.

I thought it would be interesting (to me, maybe not to you or anyone else but oh well) to turn the tables.  How would the EXO/Kris situation be received by the hive-mind if they were judged by the same standards that netizens use to judge female groups?  Read on in the following hypothetical scenario (I have to bold this part or some dumb motherfuckers won't understand the point of this blog) and find out.

KrisGate Rocks EXO Fandom

EXO's Kris has decided to file a lawsuit to end his contract with SM Entertainment, pulling a Hangeng and getting the hell outta Korea. Of course, AKF's investigative team has the scoop for you.

[MV Review] Exo - "Overdose"

Well, that was a whole bunch of nothing.

Join me as we explore the depths of dullness.

Sasaeng fan selling Exo underwear

Who wants Exo's underwear?

Anybody? Anybody?

Exo helped me realize how the Nazis came to power

It's what we call, "not-so-subliminal-messaging".

I never thought I'd see anything like this in my own lifetime but here we are. Exo today became the first million seller in kpop in twelve years. How are so many people duped into listening to horrible music? Well, there's precedent for such mass mind-control.

Project Luhan part 2: The Only Good Sasaeng...

By popular demand, a sequel to "Sasaeng Control - Project Luhan"!

If you haven't read the original, click this link and read it.  The second part won't make any sense at all if you haven't read the first part.

Sasaeng control - Project Luhan

Today's blog is inspired by this question I received on ask.fm:

It's a good question, deserving of a detailed response, so I thought it would be interesting to answer it in blog form.

Korea doesn't really have any anti-stalking laws - unless the sasaengs assault their idols, trespass on property or steal something, the law can't really do much.  The idols can't do much either - any interaction with these people or even via their entourage and security just feeds the sasaengs because it confirms that what they're doing has a payoff - "EXO's security guard slapped me - now I'm THAT MUCH CLOSER TO EXO" etc.

It doesn't leave too many options... but I thought of a unique solution that just might actually work.  Read on, and come with me on an anti-fanfiction trip into the universe of stalkers and sasaengs.