Friday, September 19, 2014

11 written-while-taking-a-shit click-bait k-pop articles written in the last 72 hours

One of the favourite criticisms directed at my own blog writing is that it's somehow "click-bait".  Here I am spending hours of my time each week, pouring my heart and soul into articles for your completely free entertainment and enjoyment, with no hidden catches or ruses, and of course entitled me-generation cuntfaces still have to complain that I'm swindling them somehow.  Of course, I only ever get this criticism from people who also don't happen to like my writing generally speaking, now isn't that interesting.

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Seeing as how there's so much confusion over what apparently constitutes "click-bait", I thought it was time that I showed my readers some examples of what I think click-bait is.

I think "clickbait" is a pretty funny accusation to direct at me because I don't run advertising so there's really nothing much to "bait" people to - Anti Kpop-Fangirl has no ads to speak of, and my own site only has default ads that I see no money from and have to pay to remove so fuck that shit, get yourself an adblocker you lazy cunts.  Even on sites like Asian Junkie where my writing appears that do also host ads, it's not like you're not at least getting some serious fucking well thought-out content for your click (even if you may not necessarily agree with all of it - you disagreeable piece of shit, you).

To me, for something to be considered click-bait it has to meet BOTH of the following criteria:
  • Attracts you to content containing advertising that the website host makes money from
  • Title is attention-grabbing and high on promise, but actual post has sloppy content and shows signs of being rushed out super-quickly just to meet article content quotas and get you to click on it
The following examples in this post are from Koreaboo, a site so click-bait-a-riffic that it's fast gathering a reputation for itself as "the Buzzfeed of k-pop", but click-bait is a high currency in k-pop media generally and these articles could have potentially come from almost anywhere.

It's pretty obvious to me that whoever tossed this one off was working against some strict time restrictions.  At least when Kpopalypse writes about fashion you get some solid information and science along with your lazily copy-pasted pictures.  Also, how could they leave out Shindong?


Talk about doing no research.

Yura isn't even on the list.  How dare they.  And to think people have a go at me for neglecting Yura, all you crazy Yura fans go tell Koreaboo about Yurass.  She got to #2 on my own ass article, which was from collected popular opinion, but she's not even in the top 10 here.  Anyway enjoy this picture, assuming you have any of your retina left after viewing the Shindong picture above.


They don't even fucking tell you what the shades are, that's because it'd require some actual thought and research and nobody's got time for that shit when they have to pump out dozens of these type of articles per day.  Also, if they looked into it they'd have to admit that this post is more like four different shades of lipstick on 14 different women.

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All idol groups interact with each other all the time because who the fuck else can they talk to who they can relate to?  Never mind that though, this article is so lazily written that they can't even draw their own red box and had to steal it from which I didn't even know was a place, but I guess they're more serious about their boyband interactions:


Nobody wants to see CSJH The Grace come back, you fucking twits.  Not even SM.  Not even CSJH themselves who keep releasing shitty solo stuff and dodging the issue.  And don't even get me started on Co-ed School... KKS split them up into F-ve Dolls and SPEED simply because nobody gave a fuck about them when they were together.


This isn't an article, it's a Google search filter.

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I guess starvation-level k-idol diets are hilarious when you're not an idol and can eat what you want.  Imagine actually being an idol and looking at this post, it'd bring you to tears.  I can almost hear them now sobbing "my manager wouldn't even let me eat all of that, we had to take it out of our mouths after the shoot"...

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Don't get too excited about clicking this one, the scariest photo here is of Amber in an empty concrete pool having a nap.  Oooooooh.

Okay so there's no duckface here.  Maybe they have a point with this one.  Recently reformed-by-Kpopalypse ex-duckfacer Lizzy would agree that these idols are doing a good job.



Verification here.  She really does care about duckface reform.

10.  Disgusting video of old man slapping Korean student goes viral

This isn't a "list" article like the others but it's just as stupid.  "Oh wow, this is so disgusting - click here to watch it anyway" hahahaha nice one cunts.  They know that 99% of the people clicking this are only doing so because they want to see the video and only 1% are interested in the article's lame phony moralising.  Save yourself the trouble of clicking though because their video link has already been pulled from YouTube, just enjoy this GIF of EXO-M's manager slapping an autograph hunter instead.

Oh wait, this is one of MY articles.  Hey, what's the pay rate at Koreaboo, does anyone know?



  1. Replies
    1. No =(((


    3. ^ It's real. The message has gotten through. Rejoice!

    4. Oh wait no it's not. Just noticed the underscores. Ahhhhh fake accounts are clever.

    5. The verification link can stay though because it's funny.

    6. You're too old to be getting catfished man

  2. That lizzy comment& answear cracked me up.Good job man :))

  3. I lold more at the Western Union Tag than the Viagra one XD
    Do you live in the philippines? XD

    1. No, but Western Union's reputation for unverified money transfers travels!

  4. Eunjung, Kpopalypse will stop using your image when you stop being smoking hot.

  5. Either Lizzy's Google translate didn't screwed up your message too badly and she understood, or it did screw it up as "Duckface Lizzy - no good work" and she'll be back to duckfacing soon through a terrible misunderstanding. I say 50-50 chance.

  6. I'd cut my third nut off for TTS and even I find that picture collection generic and shit.


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