Six Things You Should Probably Never Check Out

Now I've been in Kpop world long enough to know that there a lot of pointless yet terribly addictive things you can get yourself involved in. Some of these are so fucking cringeworthy, but in the best possible way. And once you're caught in the whirlwind, it's unlikely for you to be able to get out again. I, my friends, have learned this the hard way. So now, being the Saint that I am, made this article to tell you not to do the same mistakes I did. If you know what's good for yourself and your children, you might wanna steer away from this stuff, no matter how tempting it can be. Here are six things in Kpop/the Kpop Community that you should probably never check out. If you already have then... may the odds be ever in your favor, my deepest condolences to you, your friends and your family.

The things I would do to Seulong

I've recently come to appreciate the example of human perfection that is Seulong. I'd known about him for years through his inclusion in 2AM, but I'd never paid him any attention because, ew, 2AM. He caught my notice lately, though, with his overshadowing of almost everyone in the Uee drama "Hogu's Love" and his appearance on "Unpretty Rapstar."

To satisfy my newfound craving for all things Seulong and in response to HAM IT UP U BLASPHEMOUS BEAUTY's recent request for moar dick* on this site, I present this gift of Seulong pics to everyone.

In extra large photo size, because I know how you like it

* DISCLAIMER: No visible dick appears in this piece. My Google image search for "Seulong dick" only turned up random clothed photos of him and this link to a particularly disturbing OH thread on Chanyeol's bulge (something I did not, in fact, need to see in my lifetime.) A search for "Seulong's long dong" proved equally fruitless. 

False advertising: The frightening truth of 'Unpretty Rapstar'

For lack of anything better to do with my life, I have been watching "Unpretty Rapstar." It came in the aftermath of being late to the party of watching "Show Me the Money 3," as I thought it would be interesting to see a show that focused more on female MCs because you could predict most of the finalists for "SMTM3" from many miles away. It has been a pretty decent show with plenty of smack talking to keep things spicy. However, I am frankly disgusted that the show has lied to me with its title. If a show is called "Unpretty Rapstar," I expect to see horrifically unattractive people spitting super hot fire but it seems that me and a Korean broadcasting station differ on our views on what the show should have been about. Not only do they not always spit hot fire, but some of them are also decidedly un-unpretty. Due to this absolute travesty of nomenclature, I have made a countdown of the original eight cast members regarding who best fits the phrase "unpretty rapstar" with the unprettiest being at No. 8 and the person with the greatest disregard for the integrity of the naming of TV shows at No. 1. As my hip-hop sisters say, Leggo.

Kpopalypse Nugu Alert Episode 7: Livii, Black Anvil, Celma

That's right, cao ni mas, it's come around to that time again:

Time to dust off the first crop of nugus for 2015!