[AKF Interview] Fei's Secret To Having A Fappable Body

I read this article from Soompi about Fei's secret to having a toned body, and knew that I wanted to interview her to get the truth from her. Fei was kind enough to grant me this interview, knowing that this week, my spring break, was the only chance I would have to interview her before I had to enlist in the military.

AKF: Fei, thank you for visiting me in my mom's basement.

Fei: You're welcome. It's not as if I had any schedules, anyway.

AKF: That is a shame. Maybe miss A will have a comeback by the time I return from the military, but let's not hold our breath.

Fei: I'll probably have been on 35 different variety shows by the time miss A has a comeback.

AKF: I read that you do 200 sit-ups a day. How do you find the motivation to do that? I don't even think I did 200 sit-ups last year, unless you count the act of me laying on my bed while watching TV and bringing my torso up to get into a fapping position as a sit-up. If so, then I did at least 365 sit-ups last year.

Fei: Honestly, Suzy is my inspiration. I don't want to be a fucking disgusting slob like she is. That bitch is a fat whore.

AKF: What makes you say that about Suzy? I'm sure she's not that fat.

Fei: Believe me, AKF. That fat bitch wears a corset under her clothes every day that she has activities. She's fatter than Shindong.

AKF: That is great inspiration. I would also like to say that your abs do look great. I would lick them.

Fei: Thanks?

AKF: Forgive me. I'm a 45-year-old man who has never had sex, let alone touch a girl in a sexual manner. That is why I developed so many personalities over the years and let them manifest through this site. One of my alter egos, HanYeSeul_Fag, is a sex-crazed mother fucker who gets action all the time and his favorite sexual activity is to get pegged. I would give anything in the world to even be pegged by a girl. Then I have two other personalities, Soyeon Friend and Fany Pack, who are married. We all know I'll never get married, so I have to pretend that I'm married and shit.

Fei: That does sound very pitiable. I think you can be an influence like Suzy. Men around the world can aspire to not be like you and they can actually muster up the courage to ask girls out instead of fapping in their mom's basement for eternity.

AKF: You know Fei, you're being a bitch. I was trying to give you some spotlight here.

Fei: I'm just trying to help your faggot ass out. Stop being a bitch and spending all day answering ask.fm questions under your Kpopalypse account, being a vocalfag under your akisame account, writing about pegging under your HanYeSeul_Fag account, jacking off to Thai shemales under your Soyeon Friend account, writing about how hot Hyun Bin's cock is under your Fany Pack account, spazzing about Seohyun and stealing pics of some random Vietnamese dude and posting them to an Instagram account under your Zaku account, writing about communism under your Sohyunna account, talking about One Piece and Tiffany under your PTS Sr. account, dreaming about Dok2 under your Krakenoid/maknae account, being a lesbian under your WTFisastarship account, pretending to be black under your The Duchess account so that you can say "nigger" whenever you want, acting like you're going to go to medical school under your Shinbi account, writing about how Seungyeon is your waifu under your Ahjussi account when you're never going to have a wife, and lastly, writing about sniffing buttholes under your sulli_fag account.

If you actually got a life, cleaned your ass up a little bit, you wouldn't be a 45-year-old man who has never even grabbed any girl's tits. The first thing your bitch ass needs to do is to do 200 sit-ups a day to get rid of that beer gut.