Monday, June 16, 2014

Using K-pop in Real Life: Breakup Edition

We've all seen it on the nets before, the little testimonials from fangirls who feel blessed because they have apparently learned the Korean language from watching dramas and translating K-pop lyrics. It seems like a plausible theory because you pick up some snazzy basic pronouns, verbs, and adjectives, but in reality you're not going to get very far because Korean is a conjugated language and you're not going to pick up exactly what to say where from listening to Oppar whine on about losing the supposed love of his life and also because no one talks like that in real life. To prove my point (and for shits and giggles), let's take some phrases from K-pop songs and apply them to real life situations to see what happens!*

*Because I'm no Korean master we will use the translated (and probably condensed) lyrics but trust me it'll work all the same lol

This week's theme is.... (drumroll)... Breaking up (Like you couldn't tell from looking at the title)

Situation:  I actually don't want you to dump me

Guy:  You know, you’ve never opened your heart to me, I feel like I’m looking at a wall, you know that? You’re next to me but I’m even lonelier tonight. I waited for you but this just isn't it so now I’m leaving you.

Girl: What the fuck is wrong with you?

Guy: Oh, I don’t know if I’ve been deep inside your heart or not, that’s what I’m curious about – Before I get too tired, tell me, tell me, answer me

Girl: Did you take something before coming over here?

GuyFor a while, I felt like I was filled with you, I remember those happy memories, don’t forget that there isn’t anyone to wait for you like I have – no!

Girl: You are definitely on something.

Guy: This fool can’t even tell me not to go, why did I only look at this fool, at pitiful you?

Girl:  I didn't say anything...

Guy:  I want you to beg for me so I’ll wait for you, tell me, “Don’t ever leave me” Fool, why did I love you? I only have you – why?

Girl: Do you need some professional help or something? This just isn't working out.

Guy: Baby Catch Me. Catch Me. Catch Me, Girl, Tonight before I leave, I’m serious!

Girl: Okay, get out of my house.

Guy: If only you held onto me, stopped me, cried, hit me and told me the reason...

Girl: Reason for what, your future restraining order?

Situation: Am I sure I heard it right?

Girl: You see, I don't think we should see each other for a while.

Guy: I’m so dizzydid I bump my head somewhere? "Let’s break up," those words keep circling me, did I hear it wrong?

Girl: Uh, I don't know what you're talking about, do you need some ibuprofen or something?

Guy: Wait, everything is falling into place now. You had your fun with me and now you shock me by saying you want to break up.

Girl: What the hell are you rambling on about and why are you talking like we're in some melodrama or something?

Guy: After slowly thinking about it, I can’t live without you. If you’re not here, I’m not here either, all I’d do is just breathe.

Girl: You're right, your mind really isn't here right now.

Guy: You won’t even care how hard it is for me; how can I be with another woman that’s not you? I thought about the future with you!

Girl: Can you stop?

Guy: Just go home today, I need a little time. I’m not in the right state of mind right now.

Girl:  First of all, this is my apartment; Second, you're right about not being right in the head right now. Also, I never said I was breaking up with you, stupid dipshit. I was just telling you that we should stop seeing each other so we can focus on finals. 

Guy: Should I be a man and let you go? Should I let go of your tightly held hand? Should I hug you goodbye? But in the end, I couldn’t do any of tha... Wait, you're not breaking up with me?

Girl: Uhh... I'm considering it now. 

Situation:  The phone conversation

Girl:  Don’t call me, you’ll put my hopes up, you’re not gonna come so just let me go. Don’t come to me like a habit and play with me.

Guy: Actually I was just calling to-

Girl: Look at me, a sad doll tied under string, look, I’m still being dragged around by you.
These tough feelings are hard to cut off , I’m still in your hands, I’m that that that that that that that that doll.

Guy: What are you... what... Do you have a stutter or something?

Girl:  You’re so bad, I’m hurting again. You haven’t changed at all, I haven’t changed either.

Guy: I don't know what you're talking about, did something happen today?

Girl:  I’m reacting to your fickle nature, tell me, is this fun for you?

Guy: I was just calling to ask you what we had for homework today, who are you directing these other statements at?

Girl:  Once is enough, I can’t do this again, please get out of my life. Just when I think I’m over you, why do you come and provoke me? You’re gonna leave anyway.

Wait, you're just calling for homework help?

Guy: Erm, yeah, remember me? We went to the same high school and, uh, dated senior year?

Girl: I don’t like you, I hate you. You haven’t changed at all, I haven’t changed either. Can’t I erase you? Why am I so stupid? The more I fight against it, the more I get tangled up.

Guy: We dated for like a week, get a grip.

Girl:  My deep scars are irreversible, tell me, am I just a joke to you? I need to erase everything, why can’t I escape?

Guy: I'm, uhh, just going to ask my roommate for the assignment...

Girl:  We didn't have homework, oh, he hung up. 

Guy: If you feel it’s a burden that all my senses are focused only on you, I will leave now.

Girl: Well, hi. What are you talking about?

Guy: If I made you suffer because I couldn't control my feelings, I will go now.

Girl: The heck?

Guy: I was afraid that like “hooc,” you might fly away from my side, I didn’t know then that I was hurting you with my foolish obsession.

Girl: I don’t even know you, you just barged into my apartment.

Guy:  I won’t make any more excuses, so don’t look at me with that face. I just wanted to wish you happiness.

Girl:  You’re confusing me.

Guy:  Just know this before you go, that I was a man who loved only you. So stupid was I, an idiot and a scumbag who couldn’t even protect you.

Girl: Protect me from what and go where? You’re not making any sense right now, are you drunk?

Guy:  If you stay with me until the end, you might stumble and fall. Someday a person who will set you free will come to you.

Girl: Okay, you’re asking to be smacked.

Guy: Thank you for all the happy memories, move on and forget everything. Just go before I change my mind and hold onto you.

Girl: What is your problem? What are you asking for?  The fuck is this, you just met me five minutes ago and you broke my door.

Guy: One of these days I might miss you like crazy and call your phone. I f I ever show up outside your house then be cold. Now go on, I’ll be okay someday.

Girl: You are a nutjob and we aren’t in a drama, now tell me what I did to deserve this senseless rambling.

Guy: Oh, this is the wrong apartment…


Now that we see how disastrous that situation can be, let's apply it to other situations... next time. If you have any situations you want some awful K-pop lyrics applied to then leave them in the comments, I guess. 


  1. this is like that whose line game lmao

  2. I really enjoyed that that that that that that that that

  3. Weird, these are my favorite Kpop songs. SHINee's "Lucifer" is the only one of my favorites that isn't here.

  4. I thought that Sexy, Free, and Single would be in here. That would have been great for a break up.


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