Sunday, May 1, 2016

Sunday Shitpost #21

Guess who is going to jail in today's Sunday Shitpost!

News Story #1: Who is your Twice soulmate?

I took the quiz and got Tzuyu. Sorry, Chris Hansen.

News Story #2: Nicole to make a comeback in Korea

*yawn* Her solo songs have been boring, which is what I had feared when she left Kara. Seungyeon is really the only member who could realistically go solo as a singer from the group. Nicole's style may have received a more positive reaction when the music industry was dominated by boring R&B, but it's not the early 2000s anymore.

News Story #3: Tiffany to release a solo album

Prepare your ears to be canally raped. Tiffany has a horrible tendency to vocally masturbate whenever she can, and what makes it worse is that she's not good at doing it. Maybe it will turn out to be nice like Taeyeon's solo songs, but I am not counting on it.

News Story #4: Jessica is starting to reveal the track list

While on one hand, I am fearful that Jessica may try to appeal to vocalfags with her solo debut, I am more optimistic that she will try to venture out and try different things as she doesn't have an image to protect any longer in Korea. Plus, she was the hottest member in SNSD, so I'm hoping for a sexy comeback with an awesome dance track.

News Story #5: Your daily dose of Twice's "Cheer Up"


  1. Some people online were trying to make a theory that Tzuyu's photoshoot pic at the top of the post had hidden messages with the obvious 'cherry' and the red shorts peeking out from just one leg symbolizing blood...

    I'm going to jail alongside AKF now aren't I.

    1. Since we'd already be in jail, we could fap to Tzuyu to our hearts' content.

  2. Some bizarre mottos in that quiz.
    "This too shall pass", "Life is a choice".

    I got Jihyo
    "You and TWICE's leader Jihyo have a lot in common! Both of you have your feet firmly on the ground and are able to influence those around you positively. At the same time, there's an innate maturity about her that you appreciate along with her fun-loving and kind nature."

    There's nothing wrong with wanting to plow Tzuyu.

    1. Right, I don't mind having Mina as soulmate as long as I can still eat Dahyun's tofu.

      Back with you Mr Hansen, how do you like your tea, one or two sugars?

    2. I got jihyo too

  3. the close-ups in that Cheer Up video are freaky as fuck

  4. I got Jihyo which I am very happy about.

  5. Both Tiffany and Jessica have two choices of solo paths: Hyosung or NS Yoon G. I am praying Tiffany becomes the latter so Jessica can #slay or whatever the youths say.

  6. man anytime I do a quiz on "whose your soul mate" which i generally just use to pick a bias when Im getting into a group, it's always the ugliest member, or the member that i hate. Ps. Got Jungyeon

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