Acknowledge The Gray (Grey)* Areas

This is my own extension of Ajussi's previous article, which really got me thinking about just how quick people are to judge others and box them into one thing with no room for redemption. In the article he talks about how female idols or women in general are often judged on the opposite ends of spectrum (i.e. like someone saying wearing a dress instead of pants upholds patriarchal control.) And he's right, people do tend to judge just based off of the black and white and never the gray (grey.) 

So this is just a collection of some thoughts I had. Yes this is one of those semi-personal essay(?)-ish articles. So if you have any thoughts or experiences you'd like to add we can all share our thoughts and be a very thoughtful group today. 

It appears that people just love trapping those into one category and one only. If you're a female idol, to Kpop fans you're either a sex crazed "slut" or a virginal prude and you can never be anything different. If you're a male idol then you're either an aegyo filled flowerboy or cold hearted bad boys. And if you dare show any personality outside of this, then you are ridiculed and deomized and accused of being a liar.

Here's a newsflash: people are not one-note robots who only feel one way all the time. People have emotions and there are sooooooo many layers to the average personality that scientific studies are still being made about it. It doesn't matter if you believe in the zodiac or science, the shit is complicated and cannot be narrowed down to just you being one thing and one thing only.

For example: my zodiac is the Virgo, and the stereotype for Virgos are that we are neat freaks. I am absolutely not a fucking neat freak and am always cleaning my junky ass room. Then there is the Briggs Myer personality which is based off of science (take the test here if you're interested) which is where I came out to be an INTP, and it states that INTPs love math. I fucking hate math. Anyone who has known me for a few weeks knows that I hate math. So you see, even science can sometimes find a fold or two. That's not to say there are some parts that I do identify with. There is actually quite a bit in both that I can get on board with. However that doesn't just make me just one thing or the other.

Narrowing down who a person is takes a lot of time, and cannot be judged just by listening to them singing a song. They are only allowing you into a small portion of their lives by entertaining you and sharing that experience. That's not to say, what you see is insignificant but it is important to understand that idols are so much more than their on stage personas. And many of us will never know what they are truly like.

It seems like people never want to focus on the gray (grey) areas and only focus on what is black or white, without realizing that in the gray (grey) areas is where the richest part of a persons personality lies. 

Bottom line: people are so much more than what they appear to be. People tried to out IU as some sort of pedophile because they couldn't see past the appearance of what she was doing, and what was worse is that they didn't even try. People tried to make Hyosung out to be an ignorant person without realizing that she actually is hardworking and intelligent and that a slip of the tongue should not be the basis of a persons character. People are trying to say that Fei is anti-woman (lol) because she is fulfilling the desires of a man in her new MV without realizing that MAYBE JUST MAYBE she's comfortable in what she's doing and has a right do what she wants with her own body (yes, I'm that type feminist). And that just goes right in par with my other article I did months ago stating that, it doesn't matter if you're male or female, you're not always going to be the dominant one and sometimes the relationship (especially if it is a healthy one) is going to cause for you to be a little more submissive at times and vice versa. Sure Kpop plays heavily with the morals you were taught as a child (good vs bad, pure vs vulgar ect...) and yes, that is kind of a shitty thing. However if you learn all there is to learn about people from Kpop performers, well, you are living in a sad, sad world. Anyone who takes Kpop so seriously to the point that they let a fantasy be the eyes they look through the world with has taken it way too seriously. It can used to educate and produce thought but never to be taken literally (if that was then what would you gather from SMs videos from 2011-2014 where they all took place in giant fancy boxes?)

"SNSD's 'The Boys' taught me everything I needed to know about the girls." - Said No One Ever

And since a lot of you probably couldn't relate to Fei or whatever, this is coming from someone who has never as much held a hand with a guy let alone fucked or been in a serious relationship with oneAnd no it wasn't because I was a stuck up bitch during high school (trust me, I can't really afford to have the standards of a Victoria's Secret model nor would I if I actually were one) but purely off of circumstance. (Update: I realize that line made me seem older than I am. I'll be 19 in September.)The concept of a romantic love is still a mystery to me. However one thing I can say is that I have loved someone who wasn't a family member. I've loved many, and they were these people you call friends.

While I haven't even stepped out of the house in terms of romantic relationships, I have ran laps around the block in terms of friendships. And one great example I can give is with my best friend as we are very different personalities. And yes, sometimes we crash. Sometimes we battle and argue. I most certainly do not believe in everything she does, and most certainly don't agree with everything she says and vice versa. But guess what? I don't expect to. Each human being is different and no two people are exactly the same. However you can bet that when she was in need of a friend, or someone who could offer her the comfort and listen to her when a family member couldn't offer her, I was there for her. To listen, give advice, or even make her happy. Even when it involved doing things I really didn't want to do, like binge watching every Super Junior music video ever made. But I did it because she was my best friend and I wanted her to feel better and in return she did back in return because that's how shit is supposed to go down in a friendship.That in itself is a form of love and I hope that most of you can relate to that.

*Just throwing my non-American readers a bone.