Saturday, July 2, 2016

AKF Interview: Koreaboos Can Now be Koreans

Hey everyone, our society has degraded to the point to where I can't make fun of Koreaboos any longer because everyone can identify whatever the fuck as they want. Here, I interview a fat, white American girl who thinks she's now Korean. Fuck our society.

AKF: So, I hear you identify as Korean. When did this happen?

Fat American Landwhale (FAL from hereon out): It's been about four years now, after I got into EXO. I fell in love with them and started learning more and more about Korea. After a while, I just felt Korean.

AKF: You don't seem to act Korean at all.

FAL: Why do you say that?

AKF: First of all, Koreans actually care about their looks. You obviously don't.

FAL: Not all Koreans care about their looks. I'm beautiful the way I am.

AKF: No, you're not. You're a disgusting landwhale who is too lazy to even walk around in the grocery store. Your lard ass uses a motorized scooter that are supposed to be reserved for people with actual disabilities.

FAL: You're just a fat-shaming bigot.

AKF: No, this is coming from someone who is actually Korean. Trust me landwhale, the native-born Koreans would be even more ruthless.

FAL: I have a positive image of my body. I would compare it to Fei's body.

AKF: I would compare you to Suzy the fat whore. Fei is actually hot. I can't think of anyone here at AKF who would even fap to you. I'm sure even Kpopalypse has his weight limits.

FAL: Not at all Koreans are really skinny. There are those of us who are plus-sized.

AKF: Those plus-sized Koreans are still smaller than the average fat white person in the Western world, and your fat ass is big enough for the moon to gravitate around you.

FAL: Oh, whatever, you're just mad that I'm better at Korean than you.

AKF: You're better at Korean than me? How much Korean do you actually know?

FAL: I've learned Korean from K-Pop songs. Nae oppa-deul neomu meosjyeoyo.

AKF: Have you actually studied Korean aside from the lyrics of K-Pop songs and random interviews EXO had?

FAL: No, because I'm natively fluent in Korean after a few hours of listing to K-Pop.

AKF: Okay, this is going nowhere. How do you identify yourself as Korean when you don't even remotely look Korean?

FAL: Since Koreans want to look white and get plastic surgery to look like white people, I view myself as looking like the Korean ideal type.

AKF: Okay, I don't even know where to start with your retarded comment. Korean people don't want to look white. This is just a white narrative because white people believe the world revolves around them. If you were actually Korean and understood the desired aesthetics, you would know Koreans had an ideal type of beauty before coming into contact with white people.

Second, no self-respecting Korean would want to look like your fat ass.

FAL: You're just a bigoted homophobe.

AKF: Do you want to know what I identify myself as?

FAL: What?

AKF: An innocent man.

AKF pulls out a 9mm handgun and shoots the retarded fangirl in the head three times.

AKF: I wish this was just something I made up, but you know a lot of fucking delusional fangirls probably identify as Korean since transracial is a thing now. 


  1. Speaking of the "white narrative" you know some of us don't see the world revolving around us nor do we give to shits how koreans want to look or what their ideal type of beauty is.( I'm going to be bold and think that you do.)

    Now on to the wierd shit in this article.

    For the love of God can someone please tell me where this transracial bullshit along with the white narrative bullshit came from? (excuse my ignorant ass for asking)

  2. Transrace is a thing? I swear these tumblrinas are just getting worse. I thought those cis-woman whatever crap was bad enough.

    I'm a bit mixed with the whole fat shaming thing, I wouldn't shame or say anything to a morbidly obese person out of nowhere, but if they're yapping about how they are healthy and beautiful they deserve the hate really. Instead of making effort to try an lose some weight, they go with the lazy route and forcefully try to hypnotize themselves so they will think they're pretty.

  3. SJWs are getting more and more delusional by the day. And it's funny/scary how so many people willingly endorse this kind of mentality. Well, guess no one likes to face the reality, might as well make everyone equally delusional.

  4. As the free shit army has removed all pretense of hard work and replaced it with blaming others instead of taking responsibility for one's actions/outcomes, we are seeing the logical end game of that mentality as it permeates western culture - identify as whatever the fuck you want....

    I like k/j pop precisely because the girls are skinny and they care about their looks, are feminine not feminazis and for the most part - the whole bubble ass'd ghetto is cool thing is but a very minor player in both music scenes. Thank the fucking gods for that and I hope that doesn't change....

    1. They might look feminine, but they can still be bitchy behind closed doors.

  5. Pretty sure transracial was never a thing, and I would think most SJW's are against it. Also pretty sure this is a parody of the youtube gender identity thing, but maybe not, I can't tell bc I'm a fat american :((((( (those are my extra chins :((((( )

  6. She still had Kimchee in her twat.

  7. Should have went for "Fat American Individual Landwhale" (FAIL).

    "Narrative" is really one of my most hated words in recent years. Other top runners are "problematic" and "toxic". "Triggered" became kind of a joke world already.

  8. That's no proper way of treating your girlfriend, AKF! I'm so disappointed in you. And you fancy yourself a Korean? True Koreans have no guns.

  9. To anyone who doesn't believe me about transracial, search "Rachel Dolezal".

  10. Well personally I identify myself as a tree so you better address me as a tree the next time you mention about me or I'll be sure to drag your bigoted ass to hell.

  11. This is why I find it ironic when some people are so quick to shame a Koreaboo when they see one but you can trust the same group of people to lose their shit if you dare point out how feminine/manly a guy/girl acts. Not that I'm defending koreaboos in any way, I just can't with the hypocrisy.

  12. wait, isn't this a contradiction of the whole 'cultural appropriation' idea that they love to flaunt so much? isn't pretending to be another race essentially equivalent to appropriation, or is it okay because 'transracial1!1!'?

    these people are about as set in their ways as donald fucking trump is with his political campaign

  13. This was funny to read, but I have a problem with this line:

    "This is just a white narrative because white people believe the world revolves around them."

    It's not a "white narrative", and white people do not think the world revolves around them. If you see someone idolize typically white features such as big eyes with non-brown colors, non-black hair, pale skin, and a high nose ridge, of fucking course you're going to think, "oh, they want to be white". You're not white so you can't speak for white people and how they actually view the Asian standard of beauty.

    I'd say most white people I've talked to assume they want to be white not because white people think the world revolves around them (though it kinda does because of their success as a race) but because the ideals are very white things.

    1. Forgot to mention that I hear the same exact thing from black people, too. It's not self centeredness, it's not whiteness, it's just basic fucking reasoning and assumptions, even if it's somewhat incorrect.

    2. But when white people get tanned, and even bombard their fair skin with UV radiation doesn't that mean that they want to be brown?

      Asians use cream or avoid direct sunlight, while whites are literally risking cancer.

    3. @ other anon, SJWs seem to think so.

  14. In my opinion, I see nothing wrong with transgenders, but all this tumblr bullshit (ex: I sexually identify as an attack helicopter) is such a huge slap in the face to the LGBT community. It's just a scapegoat for weeaboos/koreaboos to be racist and basically mock the Asian culture (whether it's intentional or not). Or a non-black person who just really wants to able to say nigga. I could be a guy who crossdresses because he genuinely feels like he is a girl, but I couldn't be a white person who suddenly goes "Ya know what, I wanna be black!" and shove my face into a bucket of fried chicken. Because that's fucking dumb.

    1. Gay marriage was seen as a dumb idea as well. But things change over time.

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  16. There are actually SJWs out there who are against this transracial thing. It's just a matter of picking the right accounts to follow tbh. I happen to follow the meme blogs and they'd occasionally post SJW things but they know what they're talking about and source their findings. They've also expressed distaste towards the whole kin thing. I mean come on, some of them actually identify as fictional characters. I don't mind if they just keep everything to themselves and their peers, but some of them actually feel oppressed for being kin, and honestly as a part of an actual oppressed group (I'm a bi guy living in a country with the most numbers of muslim, the ministers here think LGBT people are a threat to the nation and only a handful of them actually want us alive), their behavior is really offensive.

  17. Can I have a fat little Koreaboo?
    Not a "whale"...just a little roly-poly.

  18. I will keep a Koreaboo in the basement, with my star wars toys.

  19. How much does small Koreaboo eat? 2 buckets or three? Can Koreaboo sleep on doggie bed?

  20. i can't find the video, but does anyone remember the video of the Koreaboo being like "I'm an egg. I'm white on the outside and yellow on the inside"? If you haven't seen it AKF, it's a must watch.


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