Parts 1 and 2 of this regular series.
Today's special crossover episode is brought to you by the fact that Navillera, G-Friend's latest thinly veiled clone of all their previous songs (this time: more synths), is gay as all hell.
I discovered while writing this review that it is fucking impossible for me to tell these girls apart. It's almost as bad as Red Velvet at this point (I can't tell those bitches apart even though I know one of them from high school!).
Anyway, I've now determined that there's one who looks like Jessica Jung (SinB), one who looks like a pig (Umji), one with braids (Yuju???), one who's kinda hot (Sowon) and TWO FREAKING LESBIANS.
Apparently their names are Eunha (the one with the short hair) and Yerin (...the other one). They are the stars of this video, the premise of which is that the six girls are hanging around doin' friendship stuff (rollerblading, abusing stuffed toys) while two of them fall slowly yet deeply in love.
This is all set to the tune of a song that sounds exactly like every previous G-Friend release, except that it has more synths which is making everyone say that it's Jpop influenced even though let's be real this is a perfect clone of their schoolgirl trilogy songs right down to the weirdly intense guitar solo at the bridge.
We're ranking on three metrics today:
Song/Video Overall: I'm gonna give it a 4/5, because I have to admit it's a jam, and the video is nicely shot, styled and edited. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer something totally different from the G-Friend ladies. They have the talent to pull off something totally left-field. Oh My Girl is doing weird shit all the time, and I'd love to see these girls do the same.
Lesbian Convincingness: 3.5/4. Sure, I'll buy it. There's enough meaningful glances to convince me. Plus that heart-drawing incident is really fucking gay.
Lesbian Hotness: 1.5/4. This is chaste as hell. The only points this gets comes from me imagining these two fucking (don't worry, they're both 19, even though they're styled like they're 12).
Today's special crossover episode is brought to you by the fact that Navillera, G-Friend's latest thinly veiled clone of all their previous songs (this time: more synths), is gay as all hell.
I discovered while writing this review that it is fucking impossible for me to tell these girls apart. It's almost as bad as Red Velvet at this point (I can't tell those bitches apart even though I know one of them from high school!).
Anyway, I've now determined that there's one who looks like Jessica Jung (SinB), one who looks like a pig (Umji), one with braids (Yuju???), one who's kinda hot (Sowon) and TWO FREAKING LESBIANS.
This is some gay shit right here |
Subtle |
Eunha, you creep |
I mean, I'm not really complaining: this group does one thing and one thing only, but they do it really damn well. The choreography is inventive and expertly executed as usual -- I'm really looking forward to the dance version of this because I remember being really impressed by their previous ones. The guitar solo is fun, if a little strange (who is playing these? If one of these girls is secretly a hard rocker I'm gonna be into it). The "na-na-na-navillera" chant in the pre-chorus is catchy as hell. It's a fun, up-tempo jam that is sure to get a lot of play this summer. The one downside is that their composer keeps pulling out all the same musical and harmonic tricks. There were multiple points in the song where the synth riffs matched up with material from Glass Bead, or where I expected the chorus from Rough to come in. That doesn't make it a bad song -- it just makes it a little bit too familiar.
Ah yes, my old familiar (girl)friend |
Song/Video Overall: I'm gonna give it a 4/5, because I have to admit it's a jam, and the video is nicely shot, styled and edited. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer something totally different from the G-Friend ladies. They have the talent to pull off something totally left-field. Oh My Girl is doing weird shit all the time, and I'd love to see these girls do the same.
Lesbian Convincingness: 3.5/4. Sure, I'll buy it. There's enough meaningful glances to convince me. Plus that heart-drawing incident is really fucking gay.
Lesbian Hotness: 1.5/4. This is chaste as hell. The only points this gets comes from me imagining these two fucking (don't worry, they're both 19, even though they're styled like they're 12).
TBH when the chorus came in , I was singing the chorus of Rough. I only endure the song for that last nananananavillera xD
ReplyDeleteOMG I thought I was the only one that does this, and it fucking fits as well.
DeleteYeah I had a weird mashup stuck in my head for an entire day after writing this
DeleteNow that the school trilogy is over, hopefully this is the start of the lesbian trilogy.
ReplyDeletepreach
Deletegfriend protip: they are all lesbian af
ReplyDeleteespecially yerin and sowon. they got the thirst. eunha acts like she ain't but it's just to play hard to get so she doesn't seem like their plaything (but she loves the attention)
This is what girlfriendshitters actually believe.
DeleteWait...which Red Velvet member are you talking about? That's awesome dude!
ReplyDeleteWendy!
DeleteGoing to school with Wendy, did "this girl could totally be a K-Pop star" ever cross your mind? The only pictures I've seen of her in high school are... not very idol like.
DeleteI didn't know her very well but she was always a good singer! And I actually think she was prettier back in high school than she is with her current hair.
Delete"I discovered while writing this review that it is fucking impossible for me to tell these girls apart"
ReplyDeleteThere's some unconventional ('ugly' for some of you mean bastards) faces in the group, idk how you couldnt tell them apart.
The group's shit.
DeleteYeah I can spot Umji no problem, but Sowon, Ujin and Yerin are tricky for me. I was basically relying on hair accessories to keep them straight in this video.
DeleteProbably because for plenty of people not-fappable = not worth paying close enough attention to figure out who is who. It's not like you need to know their names so you can google image search "(name) boobs" or "(name) ass" later.
Delete"But she don't got no ass". zzzzzzzzzzzz
DeleteYou forgot the part when yerin gets mad seeing eunha playing around with sinb
ReplyDeleteI'm surprises you're having the RV situation with this group, I don't think any of them look alike. Maybe slightly similar, but not enough for major confusion
ReplyDeleteI think it's just because I'm sort of face blind so I mostly figure identities out based on hair, and three of them have nearly identical haircuts/styles.
DeleteSomeone needs to start putting the vocals of their songs over the instrumentals of their other songs to see how well they actually do match up.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete"Umji looks like a pig" honestly what the fuck
ReplyDelete